A Handful of Words
by XX00Meg00XX
Summary: "He's been a husband three times now, but she's never been a wife, not a participating one anyway, and Castle intends to make every part of their marriage special and exciting. After all, they did promise each other to never be boring." *An AU entry for the Castle Winter Hiatus 2014 Ficathon.* Cover Art by the talented (XFchemist).
1. Ab Initio

**A/N: And so we begin the Winter Hiatus and another journey. This little story popped into my head a few weeks ago and I thought now would be a perfect time to share it with you all. My usual choice of genre is angst, but this will be mostly fluff and happiness and perhaps a little smut in the end. :) So here it is, my entry for the Castle Winter Ficathon 2014. Happy reading!  
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**Big thanks to all of my cheerleaders for constantly reminding me why I write. :)**

**Disclaimer: I claim no ownership over anything created by the Castle team.**

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><p><span><strong>Ab Initio<strong>

_**Ab Initio- From the beginning (Latin)  
><strong>_

_"Hold my hand, never let go.  
>Be it tiring,<br>be it painful  
>still, hold me tight.<br>Draw me closer to our dreams,  
>sleep to every moment I'm awake,<br>color my life with rainbows  
>and kiss me -<br>kiss me like there's no tomorrow.  
>Touch my nose with yours,<br>fill these gaps of my fingers,  
>sing me the melody I so long to hear<br>and together -  
>together we'll stand from the edge of forever,<br>together we'll walk through the shores,  
>together we'll sail the ocean upon all the odds<br>and right now, right there  
>love me -<br>love me like you never did", she said."  
>― Jelord Klinn Cabresos<em>

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><p><em>November 3<em>_rd__, 2015_

Richard Castle is a romantic at heart. He prides himself in knowing that he can still surprise Kate Beckett after close to eight years of knowing her. Even after a year of being married to her—yes, Kate Beckett is his wife; the magic of their relationship is still breathtaking to both him and her. So what he's been planning for their first anniversary has him giddy with excitement. Most women would expect extravagant gifts from a well-known writer on their anniversary, but Kate isn't just any woman.

Castle's words have always been her weakness—her guilty pleasure, and with that knowledge he intends to use the entire week leading up to their anniversary to woo Kate with his words. He'll start by whispering them to her in the privacy of their bedroom, until she's begging him for the rest of the story. And by the end of the week he'll have her so built up that when he at last finishes his story—his intricate tale of love, she'll be burning for him in ways she never has before. And it's then, on the one year anniversary of the day he made her his wife, that he'll make love to her with memories of all the things that brought them together.

He's made no hints of his gift to her, and the fact that she's curious makes him love his idea even more. She knows him, knows he loves to surprise her and after the extravagant and outrageous gift she gave him for his birthday their first year together, she's probably expecting retaliation at some point. There will be time for that, but this anniversary is special. He's been a husband three times now, but she's never been a wife—well not a participating one anyway, and Castle intends to make every part of their marriage special and exciting. After all, they did promise each other to never be boring.

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><p>The first day of his gift to her is not only long, but filled with a challenging case that has Kate significantly down by the time they leave the precinct for the evening. She carries the weight of her cases on her shoulders, taking on the despair of the victims' families and she doesn't let up until she becomes a voice for the dead. And although Castle hates to see her like that, he can't help but think that the day's events will make the first part of her gift so much sweeter.<p>

Castle restrains himself from jumping the gun, he wants her warm and comfortable in their bed before he starts weaving his intricate tale, but she looks so miserable at the dinner table that he almost gives in and tells her right then. He manages to get a small smile out of her when he brushes his left hand against her own and she lets him ground her—lets him remind her that she can be happy when they're at home. The case will still be there when she gets to the precinct tomorrow.

Kate picks up on his anxiousness about half way through their kitchen clean-up routine. He's washing, she's drying.

"Babe, what's up with you tonight?"

Castle is so focused on how he's going to bring up his gift that he doesn't hear her first question. Or her second. Or her third.

"CASTLE?" She yells so loudly this time that he startles and almost drops the plate he's been washing for the past five minutes or so.

"Sorry, sorry! Uh what were you saying?" he asks as he finally hands her the plate to dry.

"I asked what was up with you tonight, because clearly something is." She puts the plate in the cabinet and then folds her arms across her chest as she waits for his explanation.

"Oh um—nothing. I was just thinking and spaced out for a second. Come on let's go to bed." He lets the water drain from the sink and then reaches for her hand, pulling her towards the bedroom. If he doesn't get her in there soon he's going to give away everything he's tried so hard to hide until now.

Kate eyes him suspiciously as they dress for bed and Castle almost misses the arch of her eyebrow when he lingers a little too long at the foot of the bed before climbing in beside her. He leans over to kiss her softly on the lips but the moment she tries to deepen it he pulls away and retreats to his side of the bed. He's suddenly thankful that the light is already off when her frustrated huff elicits a devious smirk from him.

Castle waits a good five minutes after she's made herself comfortable and let out a few more huffs and then he makes his move. He rolls towards her until he can wrap his arms around her waist and haul her against him in a move so fast that she has no time to comprehend what's happening.

"Castle, what the hell? Five minutes ago I tried to deepen our kiss and you pulled away from me, now you want to cuddle. What is going on?"

He smirks against the side of her neck where he's buried his face and she pushes at his chest with her hand, and he knows her face is formed into that adorable frown that she does when she's slightly frustrated with him but only in a half-hearted way.

"I promise that this will be worth the wait in the end. Can you just listen to me right now?"

She huffs again but he feels her relax against his body and he knows that he has her attention because if there's ever been anyone who needs the story more than he does, it's Kate Beckett.

"I've been thinking for the past several months about what I wanted to get you for our anniversary."

"Castle, I…" She tries to interrupt him but he presses another chaste kiss to her lips, effectively cutting off whatever she was about to say.

"Most guys get their wives flashy jewelry for their first anniversary but you are no ordinary woman, Kate. I wanted your gift to be something that was well thought out and memorable to you. I've done this marriage thing three times now, but being married to you is so much more than it ever was with Meredith or Gina."

This time when he presses his lips against hers he lingers a little longer and when he pulls away he paints his next words against the soft skin of her cheek. "There's more to it than this, but I wanted to start by telling you a story. We're going on eight years of knowing each other so each night from now until our anniversary I'm going to pick a year. Each chapter of this story centers on a universal theme and I think you'll pick up on it pretty fast. So what do you say, Kate? Do you want to hear a story?"

He can feel her smile against his skin and he knows without a doubt that she loves the idea as much as he does. So as with all stories, he starts at the beginning.

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><p><em>Bri, I adore our friendship! xo<em>

_I would love to hear your thoughts! xo_


	2. You Have No Idea

**A/N: I am so humbled and overwhelmed by the response to this story. It's always lovely to know that I'm writing stories that speak to the readers as much as they speak to me. Every follow, favorite, and review puts a smile on my face! I hope you'll continue on this journey with me and that by doing so, this Hiatus will be a little more bearable for you. Happy reading! :)**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Castle or any of the ideas borrowed from the show for this story.**

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><p><span><strong>You Have No Idea<strong>

_"I remember that feeling of skin. It's strange to remember touch more than thought._

_But my fingers still tingle with it."_

_-Lucy Christopher_

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><p><em>Still November 3<em>_rd__, 2015_

Castle waits until Kate has settled comfortably against his chest before he begins to tell his story and in the quiet darkness of their bedroom she lets his words take her back in time.

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><p>"<em>Chapter one takes us back to the first moment that I met you. I turned around expecting you to be another obsessed fan who wanted her chest signed and instead laid eyes on the most beautiful woman I'd ever seen—aside from my daughter. You were all business and I loved that about you. You were intriguing because you made it so difficult for me to get to know you in any way. You were a challenge. I loved it. <em>

_ The first time you interrogated me was the moment I knew that I had to find some way to get to know you. You were fierce, determined and kind of mean—it made me want you even more. Working that first case with you will always be at the top of my favorites list because although I didn't immediately fall in love with you, I knew that I would. _

_ You hated the idea of having someone new on your team—of having a partner, especially one who wasn't a cop. My initial goal was not to annoy you but back then it seemed that's all I did. It made you even more of a challenge. _

_ I learned little things about you that year. Small tidbits that I either observed or you let slip. At the time I thought it was by accident, but I believe now that even back then you knew there was something between us. _

_ Those first few months working with you, I admit that I wanted to sleep with you more than anything, but once I learned about your mother's murder things changed. I wanted to dive into your life—to know all about the occurrences in your life that had shaped you into who you were. You became more than a conquest to me."_

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><p>He pauses for a moment to listen to her soft intake of breath and he can't help but wonder if his wife has fallen asleep before he's finished the story. "You still with me?" he whispers against the top of her head.<p>

She hums softly against his chest before she answers and the sleep-laden tone of her voice tells him that she's trying hard to stay awake. "Wouldn't miss this story for anything, Babe."

"I can continue it tomorrow if you're tired?" he asks.

"Mm…no I want to hear the rest now. Sleep can wait."

And because he's never one to deny her what she wants, he continues.

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><p>"<em>You reinforced your walls with everything you could that year, determined to keep me from getting too close. Little did you know at the time that I never intended to give up, and you'll probably never admit it, but you didn't want me to. You proved that to me when we played poker, because as good as your poker face was during the game, it wasn't quite as convincing outside of it. <em>

_ Meeting Sorenson was the first time I realized that I was falling hard for you. He stirred a jealousy in me that I'd never felt before. I'd never had to fight for—prove myself to any woman before and yet you continued to challenge me in every way possible. I saw the way he looked at you, but you never looked at him the same way. Even when I walked in on the kiss—I was jealous of course because anyone who got to kiss you was worthy of being jealous over, but I knew that your heart wasn't in it. _

_ When I started looking into your mother's murder I knew I was taking a big risk. I didn't know how much of a risk at the time, but I wouldn't have cared. I didn't understand the impact it would have on me back then; I didn't comprehend what trying to solve it would do to you—to us. To this day I'll never regret that I re-opened that door, although I'd gladly change some of the things you had to go through to get to where we are now. _

_ I was wrong about a lot of things that year, but opening that file without your permission was and still is one of my biggest mistakes. I never expected you to let me come back after that. But I'm forever grateful that you did. _

_ This brings me to the most important part of this chapter. It's been said that actions speak louder than words, but I like to think of it a little differently. Sometimes touches speak more than the words themselves, leaving a brand on the skin that continues speaking long after the touch is over. In certain circumstances, a brief touch can speak such a volume of words that nothing needs to be spoken at all. _

_ After the first case I worked with you, I tried everything in my power to get you to go out with me. I pulled every trick I could think of to woo you. At the time I thought none of them worked. I was wrong. _

_ You walked me out of the precinct and we stood on the sidewalk prepared to part ways for what seemed like the final time. You reached for my hand, just a polite handshake and yet the brief moment of touch ignited something. In that moment time froze for me but it wasn't until later that night, in the privacy of my office that the words began to swirl in my head and the story formed. _

_ You see, Kate that moment of touch between us spoke words that I never imagined it could. It spoke of hope, of a future that neither of us could see, but longed for. It formed a connection between us that I'd never felt with anyone else before. You thought I was arrogant, immature and egotistical and yet you saw more to me than that. Your touch gave you away. It's that touch that had me calling Mayor Weldon. It's that touch that formed a determination to be a part of your life. It's that touch that bore the idea for a lifetime of Nikki Heat because I knew that no other muse would ever compare to you. _

_ I enjoyed the challenge that you were, but I think you enjoyed me as one just the same. I'm sure that many men had tried to get close to you before me, but I can promise you that none of them were as determined as I was. But the truth is I never would have been able to get close to you if you hadn't wanted me to. You let me penetrate that wall; you let that first touch ignite a spark that burned through your blood just as much as it burned through mine. _

_ I'm not sure that I believe in soul mates but I do believe in signs—more importantly in touch. I'm pretty sure that you do to, because in reality, if you didn't we might not be here right now. The universe can throw people together over and over, but unless they embrace it, nothing will ever come of it. At some point it's up to us to decide. _

_ When you walked away from me that day I told you that it would have been great. You leaned in close and whispered in my ear, "You have no idea." You may have thought that I missed the slight shiver of your body as it brushed against mine and the shy bite of your lip, but I didn't. You only spoke four words with your mouth, but your body—your touch spoke a thousand more. In that moment our story began and each touch between us formed unspoken words that we were scared to voice, until the novel was written and we had no other choice but to embrace it. This is our story, Kate—our novel of unspoken words. And now it's my gift to you because you were right, I had no idea."_

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><p>Castle lets his last words paint across the soft tresses of her hair and she shivers against him. He wants to ask her if she liked it, because as many times as she's read his books he still gets nervous when it comes to Kate. Her opinion means more to him than anyone else's and telling her a story that has never been written is completely different than reading her one.<p>

She reads his body language before he can ask, and it's just another proof of the words that their touches speak. She pushes herself up on his chest until she's draped completely across his body and then she lowers her lips to his and kisses him with so much reverence that he could weep. She pours her love for him into the kiss ignoring their need for air until the last possible second. She catches her breath with her forehead pressed to his and her hands on either side of his face.

"Of all of the stories you've ever read to me or written that was the most beautiful, Castle. Your words have always been my weakness. I love you even more for planning this as my gift."

His relieved sigh drifts across her cheek and she kisses him again. "You put so much thought into gifts and it's one of the many things that I love about you. I've thought about our story so many times over the years but I've never thought of it like you just described. Everything you said is true, babe. Our touches have always been special."

"I'm glad you like your gift so far. Have you figured out the theme yet?" he asks.

"Hmm," she pretends to think long and hard about it even though they both know she's figured it out. "I think I'll need another chapter before I'm sure," she teases.

He chuckles and it reverberates through her body. "Well, you'll have to wait until tomorrow."

She huffs her disappointment and he laughs again, rolling them so that she's snuggled underneath him. "I promise it will be worth the wait."

She laughs then and retorts, "I'll be the judge of that."

She kisses the forming frown off his face and holds him against her. He lets her clear his mind until all that he knows is the warm press of her body against his and the burning heat of her mouth. Just as she starts to wrap her legs around his waist he pulls away and retreats back to his side of the bed again.

"Mm sorry, Kate. Part of this gift is waiting."

She props herself up on her elbow and levels him with a glare that he can see even in the darkness of their bedroom. "How long do we have to 'wait' exactly," she asks.

"Until I've finished the story," he answers.

"Castle, are you seriously telling me that we aren't going to have sex from now until our anniversary?"

He chances a small laugh because she's so cute when she gets like this and if she's complaining now he knows for a fact that she'll be all hot and bothered by the end of the week. It's exactly the way he wants her.

"As I said before, I promise it will be worth it."

She rolls to her side so that she's facing away from him but once again he knows it's only half-hearted. "I've never known you to hold out that long before, Castle. I hope you know what you're doing."

Castle presses himself against her back, smiling against her neck when she lets him wrap his arms around her. "I'm going to echo one of your own lines because, Kate, you have no idea."

Kate drifts to sleep first with the lingering words of their love story swirling around her. Castle holds her close as he thinks about all of the things he wants to include in the second chapter. So many words spoken from each brush of their skin over the years. He's going to take her on a beautiful journey.

Chapter one, complete.

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><p><em>Would love to hear your thoughts! xo<em>


	3. Pulling Your Pigtails

**A/N: Once again I feel the need to say thank you to everyone who is supporting this story by following, reviewing, adding it to your favorites or letting me know your thoughts on twitter/tumblr. I appreciate each and every one of you so much! I hope it's making your Hiatus a little more bearable. Hugs to all of you!**

**PLEASE: Take a minute to check out the beautiful cover art which was drawn for me by the lovely (XFchemist) on twitter! She captured my vision perfectly!**

**Also to all of my sweet guest reviewers: I wish I could reply to your kind, lovely words but please know how much I appreciate them! **

**Disclaimer: I do not own nor do I claim any ownership over Castle. **

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><p><strong><span>Pulling Your Pigtails<span>**

_"Touch has a memory."  
>― John Keats<em>

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><p><em>Early morning, November 4<em>_th__, 2015_

Kate often wakes feeling refreshed after a night spent beside her husband. Since the first night they slept together he's been her solid ground in more ways than one. It never matters how bad of a day she's had, Castle instantly makes it better. But this morning is different. She drifts into consciousness with the sweet memories of Castle's story still wrapped around her. She would never admit to believing in magic but her husband's words are just that—magic.

She rolls onto her side just as Castle's eyes flutter open and he grins at the site of her.

"Good morning, Mrs. Castle. How did you sleep?" he asks as he pulls her into his arms.

"Mm…very well, thanks to your beautiful bedtime story. It was perfect, Castle." She stretches forward so that she can kiss him, letting her lips linger against his until the insistent ringing of her alarm reminds her that she has to get ready for work.

She groans as she turns the alarm off and reluctantly slips out of the bed. She loves her job but she loves being in bed with her husband even more. And it doesn't matter that they've been married for almost a year now, it still excites her that they really got married—that Castle is her husband.

He doesn't follow her into the shower like he usually does and she has mixed feelings about it. He's really taking this whole thing seriously about not having sex until their anniversary. She likes the idea of the buildup and can only imagine how explosive the pleasure will be, but they rarely go a day without having sex and her body is already craving his.

When she emerges from their bedroom dressed and ready for the day, he has breakfast and a cup of coffee waiting on her. She smiles and presses a kiss to his cheek as she slips by him and onto the stool in front of her plate.

"I missed you in the shower," she says as she reaches for her coffee and brings the cup to her lips. She hums when the rich, hot liquid touches her tongue.

Castle chooses to change the subject instead of acknowledging her question and she would be mad at him if not for the adorable smirk she witnesses before he can hide it from her.

"I was thinking we could go out for dinner this evening, maybe to Remy's. Seeing as how that's where we had our first date and all."

She frowns and shakes her head. "Castle, that was not our first date, because it wasn't a date, period." And before he can pout she continues. "Remy's is much more than that to us, and dinner there this evening sounds wonderful. I just hope I can get out of the precinct at a decent time."

Castle comes to stand by her side and wraps an arm around her shoulders. "No matter what the day brings, you have this evening to look forward to."

She smiles and leans into his side. "Any chance I could get a small preview of tonight's chapter?"

And just as she was starting to appreciate the warmth of his body he's gone and back on the other side of the counter. "No previews, sorry, and don't give me that look. Let the anticipation of tonight's chapter be your driving force for the day. I have to run down to Black Pawn and sign a few things and then I'll see you at the precinct."

He comes back to kiss her cheek before walking towards the bathroom as she leaves for work.

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><p>Several hours later, Kate is frustrated and she's not sure anything can help her somber mood. When a coffee cup appears in front of her held out by the hand of the man she loves she quickly retracts that thought. Coffee and Castle are two things that always help to lift her spirits.<p>

She smiles as she takes the cup from him and he settles in his chair beside her desk.

"Any leads?" he asks, picking up on her frustration.

"No," she sighs. "We've got nothing, Castle. I've spent the entire morning going over the murder board and nothing adds up, there's something we're missing."

He angles his chair towards the board and studies it for a few minutes. When he turns back towards her she looks hopeful that he's seen something she hasn't. "Any crazy or realistic theories?"

He wishes he had something to offer but he can't come up with anything. "Sorry, I've exhausted all of my creativity into your anniversary gift. I can't even come up with a crazy theory for you."

She chuckles and reaches for her coffee again. "I'd give you a hard time about that but I love my gift too much for that."

"Why Detective, do I detect some softness from you?" he quips.

"What can I say, Castle, you've turned me into a sap when it comes to you." She hides her smirk behind the rim of her coffee cup.

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><p>The rest of the day is long and provides no new leads so Kate is more than happy to head out when she realizes it's after five. "Come on, Castle, let's go. There's no point in sitting here and making myself read this file again, it will still be here tomorrow."<p>

He stands and helps her into her coat before slipping his on as well. "You know, there was a time when I would've had to beg you to leave at this time."

She smiles as the laces her hand with his and waves at the boys as they walk towards the elevator. "Things were different back then. I'd much rather spend my evenings with my husband now, especially when he has a story to tell me."

He lets her press the lobby button and as the doors slide closed he pulls her against him. "I'll always have a story to tell you, Kate," he whispers in her ear and she shivers against him.

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><p>Two hours later their laughing as they walk through the door of the loft. In fact, they've been laughing and teasing each other since they left the precinct and it made dinner even more fun. Kate loves Castle for so many reasons but one of them will always be that he makes her life fun—every day.<p>

He's about to offer her some wine and ask if she wants to sit on the couch for a little while but she has other plans. She slides her hand into his and pulls him to the bedroom, shedding her clothes almost as soon as the door is shut.

"Someone's in a hurry," Castle chuckles as he follows her lead and sheds his own clothes before reaching for some pajamas to put on.

"I've been waiting all day to hear the next part of your story. I already know it's going to be my favorite part of the day."

Castle pretends to be hurt by her statement and she shoves lightly on his chest as she walks him backwards towards the bed. "Okay, it's my second favorite part of the day. My first is spending it with you. Better?"

He kisses her as she pushes him down on the bed and he pulls her with him. "Much," he breathes into her mouth before kissing her again.

For a brief minute she thinks he might give in and forego the no sex thing, but he kisses her with all that he has and then rolls her gently to her own side. She's still trying to wrap her head around how he's managing to deny her while she's all hot and bothered. When she recovers from the thorough kiss he just gave her she blinks her eyes open to find him watching her intently.

"Staring is still creepy, Castle, married or not." And even though she sounds annoyed, he knows she's only messing with him. She might want him right now but he knows she wants the story just as bad.

"Still not going to apologize for staring at you. It's just that sometimes I have to remind myself that you're really my wife and that we really get to do this for the rest of our lives."

She gives him a smile for that because sexually frustrated or not, Castle is still the sweetest man.

He lets her settle against him again and she positions her head right over her favorite place—his heart. "Okay, chapter two please?" she asks.

And he'd never deny her when she asks him like that although this time, he's more than happy to oblige.

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><p>"<em>Chapter two takes us back to year two. I can still recall how mad you were at me, even after a summer apart. You had every right to be though. Investigating your mother's murder behind your back will also be one of my biggest regrets; the other is waiting so long to tell you how I felt about you. Year two was in general a hard year for us, both as partners and separately. <em>

_ It took us a little while to get back in our groove again. You held onto your anger as long as you could and now that we're where we are now I can say this—it was adorable. You tolerated me that year and I'm grateful for that. I was already falling hard for you, but you were harder to win over than I ever expected. Flattery never worked on you and that's another thing that I love about you. The challenge of you changed me in all the ways that I needed to be changed._

_ When we fought about my book offer and you thought I was going to stop writing Nikki Heat, I saw a glimpse of feelings that you were doing so well to hide. It was the first time you fought with me in a way that screamed jealousy. It was the first time that you gave me a a small bit of hope for a future with you. _

_ I'll admit that I was disappointed when I thought you weren't going to show up at my Halloween party that year. I know that we saw each other every day at the precinct, but I wanted more. You showed up at the end and your costume—if that's what you call it, was pretty epic. It was then that I began to fall in love with your sense of humor. _

_ Alexis took to you from the beginning. She hated the fact that I was pretending to be a cop, but she had so much respect for you. She confided in you that year and although I wasn't used to her talking to anyone but me, I was glad that she trusted you enough to come to you when she needed advice. I'm glad that she has you in her life. _

_ Working the case that involved Kyra caused you to show your hand a little more. You'd never seen me show interest in a 'real' woman before. I believe that's how you put it. Kyra was the realest woman that I ever loved until I met you. Kyra saw what we were still denying and I think she helped push us a little closer to it. _

_ We both know what case is next, but I'm saving it for last, so we'll come back to it. _

_ I'm going to prove now why I consider Remy's to be our first date location. We were both set up on dates that became disasters. It might have been because we were so focused on the case but I like to think it was just another sign from the universe. Just another clue of what we would become. We were starving after we closed the case, I offered you my arm and proposed the idea of Remy's. You could have said no, I expected you to say no—you didn't. And that's why I will always consider that our first date—that the fact that you twirled your hair around your finger as we walked towards the elevator. I know your tells Beckett—better than anyone. _

_ Your apartment being blown up was a wake-up call for me. I knew that I loved you, but standing on the street when the building went up in flames was almost more than I could handle. I thought I'd lost you before I ever had the chance to have you. Finding you alive was something I didn't expect but will forever be thankful for. Opening my home to you was as much for you as it was for me. That case rocked the solid ground you thought you stood on. It tested you in every way possible and yet you beat it—we beat it. And I fell in love with you a little more. _

_ I made a mistake that year—okay I made a lot of mistakes that year, but this one is my biggest regret. Sleeping with Ellie Monroe was one of my lowest points. I wanted you but I couldn't have you yet and so I tried to get you out of my system—it didn't work, it never worked. _

_ You met Demming soon after that and I kicked myself for not trying harder with you. You deserved someone to treat you right and maybe he did, but I wanted that person to be me. You picked him at the time. I was jealous and immature and every time I saw you together I just wanted to drag you away from him. I'm glad that you made that decision on your own. _

_ To this day I still wish that I had known you were going to break up with him and accept my invitation to the Hamptons. It might have been too soon for us to try anything, we may have crashed and burned, but we also could have been just as extraordinary as we are now. I wouldn't change what we have now for anything, but sometimes the 'what ifs' paint an interesting picture. _

_ And now for the main focus of this chapter. The Coonan case was one of our biggest tests as partners. The man who killed your mom was right in front of us for all that time and when we finally figured it out you had to shoot him to save my life. I wouldn't have chosen me—and yet you did. Watching you in hysterics, trying your hardest to save the life of a killer was one of the most difficult things I had ever watched. I didn't know how to help you other than walking away from you. I loved you but I was only in your way at the time. _

_ I came back to the precinct that night prepared to tell you goodbye, but you had other plans. You reached out and touched my arm, let the palm of your hand drift across my skin until our hands met and our fingers linked together. You didn't say anything at first but your touch spoke a thousand words. The heat of our touch was electric and I know you felt it just as much as I did. You held me there—anchored me to you and I knew that there was no way I could ever walk away from you. _

_ Your fingers weaved strength through our touch, your palm whispered words of love against mine, but your eyes said it all. They opened the door to your soul and let me see inside for the first time and you know what I saw? Love. I saw that you were scared and not ready to admit anything but I saw the love just as much as I felt it through the heat of you hand. _

_ That night you admitted something to me that I'd only hoped to ever hear from you. You told me that I made your job fun and that you'd gotten used to me pulling your pigtails. In other words I was the mean boy in the class who picked on the girl that I was secretly in love with. Technically I wasn't mean and I think you did more picking than I did, but I was definitely in love with you then and I think it was becoming less of a secret. _

_ You pulled your hand away then and although the loss of your touch sent chills through my body, your unspoken words still swirled through my head. I held on to that until you were ready to give me more. I intend to pull your pigtails for the rest of our lives—amongst other things."_

* * *

><p>Castle runs his fingers through Kate's hair as he finishes his story and she lets out a sound that resembles a purr. He loves her hair—always has.<p>

"There was never any other choice for me than to save your life when Coonan was about to shoot you, Castle. I may not have voiced it for a few more years and we may have had lots of bumps along the way, but my heart had already chosen you." Her serious expression remains until she knows he believes what she's said and then she smirks at him.

Clearly not ready to give up on her attempt to seduce her husband, Kate pushes herself up on his chest so that she can look at him. "Since you like pulling my pigtails so much, how about I give you a visual that I know you'll appreciate? I'll go put my hair in pigtails, maybe slip on that schoolgirl outfit you bought me last year and you can pull them any way you like?"

Castle groans and closes his eyes and she knows that she's tempting him, causing his control to waver. He pulls her closer until her mouth is hovering just above his, but instead of kissing her like she desperately wants he moves his mouth to her ear. "Nice try, Kate, but I'm serious about waiting. There are five more chapters to this story and I really want you to hear them before we make love again."

She starts to protest but he lifts a hand to her cheek, runs his thumb over her lips to silence her. "Kate, it's not because I don't want you right now, I always want you, but this gift is important to me and the waiting will make our anniversary so much sweeter. I'll make up for each night that we don't have sex on our anniversary, I promise you that. Trust me on this, okay?"

Kate nods and leans down to gently kiss him on the lips. "I do trust you and I know you want this to be special. I just thought that eventually this want would start to ease up a little but if anything it's only grown more intense. I always want you, Babe, always."

Castle wraps his arms around her body, shifting her until she's fully on top of him. "I always want you too, Kate."

They lay like that for quite some time and just as Kate starts to drift off to sleep she tries to shift away from him. Castle tightens his arms around her, his voice husky when he speaks. "Stay, stay like this please?"

She does.

Chapter two, complete.

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><p><em>Would love to hear your thoughts! xo<em>


	4. I Have Loved You all Along

**A/N: Thank you, thank you, thank you, for the love you have shown this story so far. I find myself constantly opening the reviews page and smiling like an idiot while I read them all! I'm so thankful for all of you! Happy reading!**

_This chapter is for my new friend, Kaitlyn. Her support and lovely words are the peppermint to my mocha. :) Xo_

**Disclaimer: I do not claim any ownership over Castle or the characters/episodes borrowed for this story.**

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><p><span><strong>I Have Loved You all Along<strong>

_"Sometimes reaching out and taking someone's hand is the beginning of a journey._

_At other times, it is allowing another to take yours."_

_-Vera Nazarian_

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><p><em>November 5<em>_th__, 2015_

Kate's phone rings loudly through the quiet room just after midnight. She groans from the lack of sleep as she reaches blindly for the phone. Castle vaguely registers her growl of "Beckett" through his sleep addled brain, but his eyes flash open when he feels the bed jostle as she gets up.

"What's going on?" he asks.

She huffs as she searches for an outfit, cursing under her breath as she pulls on her black dress pants. "We got another body drop. Ryan thinks it's linked to the case we're already working. He's texting me the address, but Gates wants this solved, preferably before any more fatalities."

Castle jumps up a little too quickly and has to grip the bedside table to keep from tripping over the sheet that's still wrapped around his right leg. Kate's annoyed that she has to be awake right now, but she laughs at the goofiness of her husband, even more thankful for him at times like this.

He comes up behind her and wraps her in a tight hug just as she slips the last button of her shirt through the little slot. She doesn't hesitate before slinging her arms around his waist and letting him ground her. "We'll figure this out and catch the killer—we always figure it out," he whispers against her hair.

"I know, I just really wanted to spend some more time in our bed with you. Who knows how long we'll be working today, I don't want to miss out on your story tonight."

Castle eases her back so that he can look at her face but he keeps his arms wrapped low around her waist. "It doesn't matter as long as we're together. You have a duty, to finish the last chapter of your victim's story and then we'll get back to ours."

"Thank you," she says as she lifts up on her tiptoes to press a soft kiss against his lips.

"For what?" he asks.

"For always knowing what to say, for grounding me no matter what the situation is."

He kisses her cheek before stepping away from her to find something to wear. His answer of "Always" has a smile lingering on her face for far longer than it should.

* * *

><p>They arrive at the crime scene a short time later and Castle can count on one hand the times that he's been queasy, but this is one of them. It's exceptionally gruesome to say the least and judging from the smell—the intense stench of decay, it's been more than a few days since their victim was murdered.<p>

She's a young girl, looks to be around the age of Alexis and Castle shudders at the thought. The emotional roller-coaster he'd gone on when she Alexis was missing had been hard enough but he got her back, he can't imagine being on the end of this phone call. And although Kate has yet to be a mother of her own child, she's stepped up and been one to Alexis so this case seems to be getting to her more than usual. Castle notices the same shudder rip through her body before she takes a deep breath and goes into full detective mode.

Three hours of combing through financials and traffic cam footage and they've concluded that their victims are definitely linked, in fact they were related. The two women thought they were cousins their entire lives but after speaking with Lanie and an estranged aunt that Ryan managed to locate, it turns out the women were actually sisters. Both victims share the DNA of a father who disappeared before they knew him. And at last, they have a lead.

Castle hovers close by as they wait for Ryan and Espo to locate and bring in their suspect, turns out he didn't disappear as well as he thought he did. Kate bristles with the hope that this will be what they need to close to case because as much as she wants justice for the two victims, she wants to drag Castle home and into their bed and listen to their story and then she wants to snuggle against his warm body and sleep for hours while dreaming about it.

Their suspect, Mr. Parks, is confident—a little too confident. His declarations of "You'll never get enough evidence to convict me" are heard loud and clear by the entire precinct as he's escorted into interrogation room four. Kate rolls her eyes, but Castle just smirks because this is what she shines at, breaking even the cockiest of suspects.

Castle elects to watch from the observation room because as much as he loves being beside his wife when she does her interrogations, he doesn't want his presence to lessen the effect she has on Mr. Parks.

Kate's on fire the moment she enters the room, shoving the door closed with more force than usual and tossing the case file onto the table. She crosses her arms, pacing a few times in front of the suspect as she assesses his demeanor, and plans which approach she'll use.

It's all going in her favor until Kate crosses that line, the one that sends Mr. Parks over the edge and he lunges forward, hands around her throat before she can stop him. It's over almost as soon as it started, the boys bursting into the room and pulling the man off of her and Castle has to restrain himself from reacting. He hates when anyone talks nasty to her, but when they touch her it's an entirely different story. She's leaning over the table, knuckles white with the force of her grip as she takes gasping breaths, forcing the air back into her lungs. Ryan and Espo shove Mr. Parks towards holding and shut the door behind them as they exit the room.

Castle rubs a hand down her back, forcing his anger to dissipate so that he can calm her as well. She finally stands, and slowly spins to face him.

"Are you okay?" he asks.

She nods as she steps into his arms, needing his strong arms wrapped around her. After a few minutes she pulls back and looks up at him. "I should have seen that coming," she whispers.

"Hey," he reaches out to cup her cheek, "you were awesome in here, you had him right where you wanted him, and you had no idea he was going to lash out like that. I'm just glad you're okay."

She leans her head further into his hand and smiles at him. "Thank you for not reacting in the way I'm positive you wanted to. He would have deserved it, but it's best to let him take himself down."

He starts to pull her closer but then his focus shifts to the red marks on her neck and he frowns. "If your neck bruises I'm not sure I'll be able to restrain from lashing out at him. I don't want you alone with him again though, please. I know you can handle yourself, but if he touches you again…"

She shakes her head in agreement and gives him another brief hug. "He'll be cuffed this time, but I'll take Espo in with me. I'll be okay."

Castle smiles and walks with her back to her desk, sinking down into his chair once she's seated in her own. "Get your focus back and then take him down because that's what you do best."

She nods and dives back into the file, studying it with a renewed vigor.

* * *

><p>They let Parks sit in the holding cell for most of the day, but Castle can see Kate's frustration growing. She can't find enough to convict him, and the fact that they all think he's guilty won't matter when the twenty-four hour holding period is up. Castle stares at the murder board, desperate for something to catch his eye so that they can close this case.<p>

Their big break comes sometime around seven that evening, and Castle would jump up and down if not for his dire need of sleep. Pulled documents from both victim's computers produce similar emails—emails that prove just how guilty there suspect really is. Each email though written differently instructs the recipient to meet Parks at a specific location to pick up a package from their father. It would seem suspicious to most people but neither victim knew their father so intrigue must have won over. The key to linking the email lies in the small detail of asking the recipient to wear a red scarf. Two different emails. Two different locations. One same request. And then they trace them right back to Parks' computer.

Mr. Parks is still smug and over confident when they return him to the interrogation room, but this time Kate is ready for him. She strolls into the room with confidence that would rival almost anyone and Castle bristles with pride for his wife. He knows that Parks is going down.

Gates and Ryan flank either side of Castle and they watch as Beckett and Espo break Parks with practiced ease. The moment he knows it's over is the moment Castle lives for. Kate actually beams at Castle as she emerges from the room and it's something that he's only seen her do since they officially got together and he adores it. They watch as Espo leads Parks away and both breathe a mutual sigh of relief.

* * *

><p>By the time Kate finishes her paperwork and drops it onto Gates' desk, it's after ten and Castle is nodding off while his head is propped against his hand. Kate nudges him gently and his head snaps up, eyes immediately alert. "Come on, Castle. I'm finally finished. Let's go home before you fall asleep and end up in the floor." She chuckles as he stands to help her into her coat.<p>

Castle forces himself to stay awake in the car while Kate drives them home. She's running on the same amount of sleep that he is, he should be able to stay awake with her. They stop to grab some take-out, neither up for cooking anything when they get home.

Kate goes into their bedroom to change clothes as soon as they enter the loft, while Castle plates their pizza and pours them a glass of wine. When she doesn't come back after several minutes he leaves their plates on the counter and goes to find her. He chuckles when he spots her curled up and asleep on her side of the bed.

He returns to the kitchen and puts the pizza along with the wine in the fridge before turning off the lights and going back to the bedroom. As much as she wanted to hear the next part of their story tonight, the exhaustion seems to have won out. He changes into his pajamas and joins her in the bed, pulling the covers over them before turning out the lights. In a matter of minutes he's sound asleep.

* * *

><p>It's sometime around three when Castle drifts awake to the soft sound of her voice. He doesn't open his eyes, but he reaches for her, drawing her body against his.<p>

"Castle?" she calls again, waiting for him to respond.

"Hmm?" he responds.

"I fell asleep before you could tell me the next part of our story," she pouts.

"I know," he laughs. "I was waiting for you to come back and eat some pizza, but I came in here and found you sound asleep. I didn't have the heart to wake you up."

She huffs against his chest and he laughs again.

After a few minutes of silence he thinks she's drifted back off, but then her stomach growls and she pushes into a sitting position. "I could eat that pizza right now," she states.

She's already in the kitchen with several pieces of pizza heating in the microwave when Castle comes in, clothed in only his blue cotton robe and pajama pants. She smiles and hands him a bottle of water before getting the pizza out and passing him a plate.

"Isn't there some kind of given rule that eating pizza at three in the morning makes it even better?" she asks after swallowing a mouthful of pizza.

He laughs and nods as he takes a bite of his own.

She eats two more pieces before she feels full and Castle does the same. She stands to throw her plate away when she hears her phone beep from their bedroom and she groans at the thought of another murder. Castle trails behind her and plops down on the bed as she opens the text message. She reads it and drops it on to the table, smiling as she crawls across the bed until she's pressed up against him.

"That was from Gates, she's giving me the day off to 'recover' from yesterday." She swings her leg over his lap eliciting a small groan from him when her hips sink against his own. "I know it's early and we need sleep, but I'd really like to take a bath with my ruggedly handsome husband. We have all day to catch up on sleep when we get out."

Castle wraps his arms around her waist, holding her against him as he scoots towards the edge of the bed. She lets out a small giggle when he stands with her still in his arms. It's a sound he never knew she could make or expected to hear from her. He loved her as a friend, even more as a girlfriend and fiancé, but there's nothing that compares to loving her as his wife. He discovers something new to love about her almost every day.

He gently sets her down so that she can undress while he starts the bath water and pours some of her favorite salts into it. He quickly sheds his own clothes and then reaches for her hand as they step into the bath tub.

Kate sighs happily as she sinks into the warm water and rests her back against Castle's broad chest. His arms wrap around her stomach and she links their fingers together as they wait for the tub to fill. When the water gets high enough, Kate stretches her leg out and turns the nozzle off with her foot.

She's quiet for a several minutes, letting the hot water sooth her tired, aching muscles, but she suddenly remembers what she missed out by falling asleep. "Castle?"

"Hmm?" he hums.

"If you're too tired I can wait, but I'd really like to hear chapter three of our story now."

She feels his answering grin against her skin.

"Tired, but never too tired to tell you a story, especially when I know I get to crawl back in bed with you when we get out of here."

He clears his throat dramatically and Kate would roll her eyes, but he's about to tell her about year three of their story and there's nothing she'd rather be doing right now. "This particular year was a hard one for us. I managed to think of little moments of hope amidst the pain, but it's not going to be the happiest of chapters. Happy or not though, it's still a beautiful story of love."

"It was a very hard year full of many tests for us, Castle. But I think all that matters is that we passed all of them. I mean we might not have realized it at the time, but look at where we are now. That has to mean we passed them right?"

"Oh, there is no doubt that we passed." He kisses her cheek and then he takes them back to year three.

* * *

><p><em>Chapter three takes us back to my third year following you for research. Yes, that's clearly what I was doing. Only at the beginning of this particular year I hadn't spoken to you in several months. I spent the summer writing in the Hamptons and Gina was with me. Things were, let's just say a bit of a rollercoaster. Gina and I were like oil and water; we never mixed well for long. <em>

_Murder brought you and I back together and I still to this day see it as just another sign of something we were still too stubborn to deny. I thought you were still with Demming and I was putting off coming back to the precinct because frankly I just didn't want to see you with him. Did I want to see you happy? Of course. With him? No. _

_I think for a brief moment you actually thought I had committed that murder, but despite your jealousy of Gina and my jealousy of Demming, we ended up as partners once again. I missed you that summer; I know you missed me too. I also know you let me win that bet and I love you a little more for it. _

_Soon after that I got the chance to meet Royce. I watched you closely during that case, observing more about you than I ever had before. At one time you loved him, it might not have been clear to some people, but when I looked at you it was written all over your face. You loved him, but I don't think he ever deserved that love from you. _

_Josh came into the picture around that time and since I was still with Gina I shouldn't have been as jealous as I was. I hated the way he looked at you because I wanted to be the only man ever allowed to look at you like that. _

_Things seemed to get serious for you and Josh rather quickly—well, as serious as you would allow back then. I still broke it off with Gina because it wasn't fair to keep her hanging on when my heart already belonged to you. _

_When we caught the Jerry Tyson case I was intrigued, the details of it sparked my interest more than any other case. I never saw the ending coming. I thought that I was going to die in that room with Ryan and never get to tell you how I felt about you. You found me before that could happen. Deep down I knew you would. And yet, I still didn't tell you that I loved you, because I was terrified that you would push me away for good. _

_You sat beside me that night, and you placed your hand in mine and once again the sparks flew. I could feel it stronger than ever. Your comfort was more than I ever expected but everything that I needed at the time. And I began to love you a little more. _

_At some point we got abducted by aliens. Don't ruin my story with your logic, just go with it. We woke up with matching hickeys and your head on my shoulder. In that moment I wished more than anything that they really were hickeys and you really had fallen asleep on my shoulder after several rounds of desperate love making. That's not even close to what really happened, but I like my version of it so much better. _

_I got to see another side of jealousy from you when we met Natalie Rhodes. She tried to be just like you. You hated it. I loved it. She tried to sleep with me and you believed that she had. I didn't want her though, even if she was pretending to be a version of you. _

_We shared our first real touch that year. The undercover kiss to distract the guard while trying to save Ryan and Espo spoke more words of what we were both feeling, than we were ready to admit. You tensed at first, shocked by the sudden connection, but you began to respond in a way that only a lover would. What started as a distraction became a moment of passion between two people who were in love but terrified to admit it. I memorized the noises that you made, each whimper and moan. You let yourself get lost in the kiss, even if was only for a brief moment, but you gave me all I needed to know at the time. _

_And then I went rogue and got us locked in a freezer. I'd like to say that if I could do it all over again I'd want that to never happen, but that wouldn't be the truth. I never wanted us to freeze to death, but in that moment I was content that if I was going to die at least it was with you in my arms. You started to tell me something, right before you passed out and I desperately wanted to hear it. I wanted to know if we were heading in the same direction. Once your hand dropped I just prayed that I'd either die or we'd both live. I'm forever thankful that we lived. _

_When I woke up in the ambulance I just wanted you, but then I saw Josh and my heart sank. I wanted to continue our conversation, but once again it wasn't the right time. _

_We found the bomb right after that, but there wasn't enough time to diffuse it. I just knew that we'd finally come to our end, yet once again I was okay with the fact that I was with you. I held your hand, ready to meet my fate and determined that I was going to scream out 'I love you' right as the blast went off. Instead I pulled the wires and diffused it and although you gave me the biggest hug ever, there were no declarations of love that day. _

_Then Royce was murdered and once again things shifted between us. I followed you to LA, determined to be there for you whether you wanted me to be or not. Our conversation on the couch was the closest we'd ever come to admitting our feelings. I think we both wanted to, but you still had Josh and I was scared to halt the progress we were slowly making. You looked at me in a way you never had before that night, but just as I was about to be brave—to take a chance, you made the decision for both of us and retreated to your room. I lingered on the couch, silently wishing that you would give in to whatever you were feeling, but you never came back out. _

_And then life dealt you another blow—well, several. You found out that the Montgomery had been involved in your mother's murder. We fought and you told me we were over and I thought that it really was it for us, until Montgomery called me. He lured you to the hanger that night, knowing what his fate would be before you ever arrived. I hated dragging you away from him especially given the way we'd left things, but your life meant more to me than any fight. I know walking out that door would be the last time I'd ever see Montgomery alive and I silently made my peace with it. He helped me save your life and he'll always be a hero for that. _

_You hated me while I held you against the car. Your tears coated my hand, my shirt, my neck and they seeped into my heart, coating me in your anguish until I shared it with you. My heart cried for you, for everything you were going through and for everything that I wanted to be to you. Somewhere in the midst of those tears, even with your battered heart, you forgave me. _

_And at last we come to the most difficult thing I've ever been through although I know my struggle pales in comparison to yours. You were giving me more than you ever had while speaking at Montgomery's funeral and I saw another glimpse of hope for us. And then I saw the glimmer of the sniper rifle and despite my best effort to get to you, he got to you faster. _

_I held your body against mine, pleading you to stay with me in those moments. They were some of the longest of my life. Your life in limbo while I begged whatever higher being was listening to just let you live. I let the dam burst then and told you that I loved you just as I watched the life slip from your body. I've told you before about watching you die but I felt it too. I felt the last breath you took before you lost consciousness, I felt the warm, stickiness of your blood, I felt the strength leave your body. But most of all I felt our connection intensify and I knew that if you survived, things would be different. _

_I held on to that look you'd been giving me right before you were shot, I let it burn into my memory until it was all I could see and the hope began to overcome the doubt._

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><p>By the time he finishes the beautiful recount of that painful year she's turning in his arms and clinging to him. She clings to him for all the times that they almost lost the chance to be what they are now. He clings back. But she doesn't let the tears fall this time because she cried enough of them during each of those painful times.<p>

His gift to her isn't about holding onto the pain, it's about remembering where they came from and what they overcame to get to where they are now. It's about joy and happiness and the feeling of triumph at the end of a long, hard battle. They made it and that's all that matters right now.

They hold each other there until the water begins to grow cold and then they carefully step out and dry each other off before walking hand in hand to the bed, climbing beneath the covers and holding each other close.

"Thank you for finding a way to tell the story of that year in such a beautiful way, Castle. We went through a lot of pain to get to where we are now, but the journey only matters because it eventually led us to right here, this moment. I'm so glad that I get to spend the rest of my life in your arms while knowing exactly how we feel about each other."

Castle holds her a bit closer, letting the warmth of her ease the painful memories away and replace them with only good. "Me too, Kate. Me too."

She doesn't try to talk him into having sex before falling asleep, content to lie in the cocoon of his arms. They have the whole day to be together and she's more than happy to spend most of it just like this. Their story is full of ups and downs, painful moments that hurt to remember sometimes, but the pain was only a part of it. Even on the worst days, the possibility for joy was shining through and it made itself known through touches that spoke more than a handful of words.

Chapter three, complete.

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><p><em>I don't usually write case related details so if you hated that part I'm sorry and it most likely won't happen again!<em>

_Would love to hear your thoughts! xo_


	5. From Broken to Always

**A/N: Thank you so much for the lovely response to the last chapter. I'm so glad that everyone liked the case details. Thank you for patiently waiting for the next chapter. I love reading each and every one of your sweet reviews as well as interacting with you on twitter! Thanks as always for all of your support. Also, this chapter will put me a little over 15K words so now onto my goal of 30K! :)**

_This chapter is dedicated to my lovely friend Kate (MyRandomness03) for not only her friendship but her sweet review and words on twitter! Thank you, always! xo_

**Disclaimer: I do not own Castle or the characters used in this story nor do I claim any ownership over them. **

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><p><span><strong>From Broken to Always<strong>

_"I climb into the dark for you. _

_Are you waiting in the stars for me?"_

_-Ally Condie_

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><p><em>Afternoon, November 6th, 2015<em>

Castle startles awake several hours after they've gone back to sleep, his reason for waking still all too clear in his mind. Trying to put the dream out of his mind, he lets the woman in his arms calm the rage that's still racing through him. Kate still suffers from PTSD dreams from time to time, but they didn't realize that he was going through the same thing until he started showing some of the same signs about nine months ago.

He'd been home for about four months after being run off the road and taken on their original wedding day. When he returned he had no memory of the two months that he spent away from her. He thought that he never would until the dreams started. They've never been clear enough to make out any details that could help them figure out who really took him. And nothing in the dreams ever pieces together with the next.

Kate had arranged for him to meet with Dr. Burke shortly after the dreams started. After only a few visits Dr. Burke concluded that Castle was suffering from PTSD. Almost nine months later the dreams have lessened in their frequency, but every now and then things that he and Kate have been through creep into his pleasant dreams and turn them into nightmares.

The image of Parks with his hands around Kate's neck still burns bright in Castle's mind. He squeezes his eyes closed to try and banish the image away, but it only seems to intensify it. In his dream, Parks had managed to lock the door before wrapping his hands around the delicate skin of Kate's neck and Castle could only yell and watch in horror as the color and life drained from her face. The moment she began to slide to the floor was the moment he startled himself awake.

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><p>Castle traces his fingers down the soft skin of his wife's naked back, writing words of love over each vertebra until she begins to stir in his arms. And he smiles to himself at the thought that they are both deliciously naked and nothing sexual has occurred.<p>

"Mm, what time's it?" she slurs.

He reaches for his phone on the table bedside the bed and clicks the home button so that the screen comes to life, illuminating the time.

"A little after twelve," he answers.

Kate hums and presses herself closer to him. "Feels good to sleep this late, we needed it."

He kisses the top of her head while his hand continues to caress her back. "Yes it does. I'd stay in bed with you all day, every day if I could."

She chuckles and lifts her head so that she can press a soft good morning kiss to his lips. When she pulls away she notices the stressed look on his face in spite of their light conversation. They're so in tune with each other that nothing goes unnoticed even when one of them tries their best to hide things.

"You okay?" she asks as she lifts her palm to his cheek, caressing the soft skin underneath his eye with her thumb.

"Yeah," he answers nonchalantly but she isn't buying it.

"Castle, I can tell something's up."

He frowns but sighs in defeat as he prepares to answer her. "I had a dream."

"About your kidnapping? Those haven't happened for a while."

"No," he shakes his head. "It was about Parks…" he trails off for a minute, swallowing thickly before continuing. "He was choking you, but this time he had locked the door and I couldn't get to you. I was yelling and pounding on the two way mirror, but I knew I was watching the life drain out of you and there was nothing I could do."

He closes his eyes when he finishes, willing the horrible thoughts away.

"Oh, Castle, I'm sorry that you had to watch that yesterday, but I'm okay."

He opens his eyes to focus on her and the tension instantly leaves his body, until he focuses on her neck. Light blue and purple bruises have formed on her neck in the shape of fingers.

Kate sees the moment that Castle's eyes cloud over before he reaches a hand out and delicately traces the bruises with his fingertips. "This is not okay, there are bruises."

She can hear the anger seeping into his tone and she pushes herself up, lifts her leg over his body so that she's straddling his hips. He looks up at her with a mixture of sadness and anger and she leans down until their noses are touching.

"Babe, it's just some bruising. It will heal. We have the whole day to spend with each other and I'm not going to let what Parks did ruin it."

She kisses him then, a hard press of her lips that quickly turns passionate and desperate when she runs her tongue along his bottom lip. He opens his mouth for her without second thought and she slicks her tongue inside, exploring the hot cavern. She kisses him until the need for air becomes too much and then she reluctantly pulls away, letting the warm puffs of her breath dust against the side of his cheek.

They don't need anything more right now, just the reassurance that they've made it through everything life has thrown at them. The soft weight of her in his arms, the delicious press of her skin against his and the feeling of her lips against his cheek work in combination to ground Castle and banish all thoughts of his dream away.

* * *

><p>Kate's about to attempt to get him to tell her the next part of their story early when her stomach lets out a loud growl that neither of them can ignore. Castle chuckles and kisses her cheek.<p>

"Seems my wife is hungry. Come on; let's go get something to eat."

She reluctantly climbs off of his lap and out of the bed, holding out her hand for him and smiling when he stands and takes it.

Kate starts the coffee pot while Castle searches for something to fix them, eventually pulling bacon and eggs out of the fridge.

"Is this okay?" he asks.

Kate quirks an eyebrow, but then her smirk gives her away. "Breakfast for lunch? Do you even have to ask?"

He laughs as he grabs the butter and closes the refrigerator door with his foot. Breakfast food has been their thing since before they ever got together. From Castle cooking Kate pancakes after sleeping on her couch to 'protect' her one night, to Kate cooking for him when she stayed at the loft after her apartment was blown up. It's just another thing that speaks more words than either of them were ready to voice at the time. Another way of saying 'I love you' without any words.

Castle flips the bacon as it sizzles in the pan and then cracks several eggs into the skillet beside it. Kate pours them both a cup of coffee and can't help but pinch the delicious swell of his ass as she sets his mug down and slips around him to sit on a stool at the bar. He yelps but gives her the same salacious smirk that she's giving him.

"Ah, someone's a bit handsy this morning."

"You complaining, Castle?" she quips.

"No, never. You know I love your hands, amongst other things." He wiggles his eyebrows at her suggestively.

"Hmm, would you care to show me? I seem to be a bit fuzzy on those things." She circles the tip of her pointer finger around the rim of her coffee mug and winks at him.

Castle groans as he removes the bacon and eggs from the stove and divides them on two plates. "That's very tempting, and I plan to refresh your memory very thoroughly…" he trails off as he slips on to the stool beside her, setting her plate down in front of her before leaning over and placing his lips against the shell of her ear. "On our anniversary," he finishes his sentence and then his lips are gone and he's popping a piece of bacon into his mouth to try and hide his amusement of working her up.

She huffs as she reaches for her fork and starts to eat her eggs, but she doesn't say anything to him for a few minutes.

"Are you pouting?" he asks after swallowing his last bite of food.

"I don't pout, Castle."

"Oh but you do," he laughs. "And it's adorable."

She levels him with a glare before sliding off her stool and taking her plate to the sink. "And let's say that I am pouting, what are you going to do about it?" she asks.

Castle brings his plate to the sink and rinses it off. When he's finished he turns to his wife and wraps his arms around her slim waist, drawing her close. "Well, I thought maybe we could crawl back in bed and I would give you the next part of our story a little early. Would that earn me any brownie points?"

"Hmm, tell me the story first then I'll let you know."

"Have I ever mentioned that I also love your stubbornness?" he asks as he starts to walk them towards the bedroom.

"You may have mentioned that a time or two."

She pulls out of his arms to reach for his hand and tugs him back into their bedroom and onto the bed. She looks like a kid at Christmas as she crosses her legs and eagerly waits for her husband to tell the fourth part of their story and in that moment Castle loves her a little bit more.

He positions himself against the headboard and rests their joined hands on his thigh. "So many parts of this year are going to be painful to tell, but I think I've managed to find the beauty in most of it. The best part is that we both know how it ends and it's why year four is my favorite one."

She squeezes his hand and leans into his side. "I have no doubt that your recount will be beautiful."

And so Castle takes a deep breath and takes them back to that painful yet life-changing year.

* * *

><p><em>The fourth year of knowing you, I watched you die in an ambulance. In those seconds that your heart wasn't beating I knew that my heart was dying with you. I loved you so desperately that I hated myself for waiting so long to tell you. The moment your heart started beating again, I made a promise to not waste any more time. <em>

_At the hospital I became a praying man, praying for you to pull through. Our family gathered together, offering support while we waited, but it was Josh who really opened my eyes. I was angry at the time, appalled that he was blaming me for your shooting when all I wanted was to push you out of the way. He was right though. I was the one who pushed you to look into your mother's murder. I was the one who put you in the crosshairs. _

_But he was also wrong. I loved you in a way that I had never loved anyone. Pushing you to look into your mother's murder was about helping you. I wanted you to be all that you could. You were so much more than her murder, but for the longest time you couldn't see that. I never wanted you to get hurt in any way. If I could have taken that bullet for you, I would have. _

_I was desperate to see you once we know you'd survived and the moment I walked through the door of your room it was like my heart started beating again. When my eyes met yours I felt a new rhythm form in my chest and I knew that loving you was something I could never escape. _

_You asked for some time, said you would call me and I was happy to oblige. I just wanted what was best for you, even if I wasn't it. I waited. You never called. For the first few weeks I told myself that what you were doing was justifiable, that your recovery was more important than anything else. But then I started to feel the emptiness that your absence was creating and the bitterness began to creep in. I wanted to help you, be there for you, but you weren't ready for any of that. _

_Seeing you at my book signing was like a punch to the gut. Your presence stirred that rhythm of my heart back to life, but I wasn't sure I could handle another let down. You waited for me outside the store, your stubbornness and determination proving more about you then I was willing to see at the time. _

_I was bitter. I didn't want to think about you recovering with Josh's help, but you quickly eliminated that image from my mind when you told me that you had broken up with him. It was no secret that you liked him, but he wasn't what you needed—what you wanted. Everything about your body language said it; I didn't need to hear the words from your mouth. _

_You told me that you needed to solve your mother's murder before you could have the kind of relationship that you wanted. What I really heard was that you wanted us to be more but you needed me to wait. You gave me another glimpse of hope, so I waited._

_I saw the jealousy creeping in when we worked the case with Serena Kaye. I never had any interest in her in the way you thought I did because I was waiting for you. I saw your body language when I kissed her in the hallway of her hotel to distract her from seeing you and the boys. Everything about you screamed 'He's mine', everything but your words. _

_When we investigated the murder of Jack Sinclair, I got another glimpse of the feelings you were trying to hide. I hoisted you onto my shoulders so that you could slide up through the trap door. I didn't miss the hitch in your breath or the heat radiating from where you were pressed against me. I slid my hands up when you told me to grab your legs, you attempted to scold me for where I actually grabbed, but I felt the shudder rip through your body. _

_I got lucky enough to be on the phone with you when the bank that mother and I were at was being robbed. Robberies weren't something you usually handled, but you came because I was there. You ended up as the hostage negotiator, talking to Trapper John like it was something you do every day. You put yourself in danger when you entered the building dressed a paramedic. I was angry, but so glad to see you. I slipped you the message about the C4 as we loaded Sal onto the stretcher and I knew that you were going to do everything you could to get us out. The touch of your hand, brief as it was, gave me all the hope I needed. _

_I closed my eyes seconds before the bomb went off, memorizing your face and touch so that it would be the last thing on my mind when I died. The bomb went off, but I didn't die. I cracked my eyes open only to find that all of the hostages had survived and then I registered the sound of your voice. You sounded so defeated, as if you expected to find only bits and pieces of me. The sound of your voice, the look on your face when you saw me, spoke volumes. _

_You knelt down in front of me and released my bound wrists and then your hand was on the collar of my shirt and the entire world faded away until only you and I remained. And just as I thought we were about to finally speak some of the feelings we'd been hiding, my mother reminded us that we weren't the only ones in the room. _

_You were doing so well with recovery up until that point that no one had noticed you were struggling. You were doing well at hiding it, but I caught on. I watched you begin to spiral out of control, lost in a black hole that threatened to pull you under for good. I knew there was only one person who could get through to you at the time. I talked to Espo and he agreed to help you. He gave you the words you needed, the strength to pick yourself up and overcome the PTSD. I never wanted you to know that I was the one who asked him to help you, but at the end of the case you thanked me and I knew that you had figured it out. _

_For a brief time we got to take turns taking care of a dog named Royal. It felt like having joint custody of a child with you. I brought Royal to you on the first night of keeping him. In the process of trying to show you what he liked I reached for your hand, rubbing slow circles on the top of it. It was supposed to be a lesson about what Royal liked, but I saw the way you looked at our hands, felt the thud of your pulse against my skin. I wanted to hold on longer, but we weren't quite there yet. _

_When we worked the case of the blue butterfly, I remember you accusing me of reading the diary as if you and I were Joe and Vera. You were right, that's exactly what I was doing. It was easy to place us in their love story, easy to imagine that we had a love as strong as they did. _

_And then we were plunged into the river, sinking to its depths while water poured in around us. I was terrified that we weren't going to make it out of that one. We almost didn't. I found your gun seconds before I lost consciousness from lack of air and somehow managed to shoot your seatbelt and the windshield without injuring you. I grabbed your hand, and swam with all of my might as I pulled us towards the surface. For weeks after that case I felt the phantom press of your hand in mine. _

_We made so much progress after that. Little touches here and there, personal chats that allowed our connection to grow. We worked that bombing case and the site of the victims, the devastated families had me making the decision to make a move before it was too late. I tried to tell you that I wasn't willing to wait any longer, but we were interrupted and I told you it could wait until after the case. I came in with coffee later that day only to find you already in interrogation with the suspect. You didn't know I was watching. You told the suspect—a stranger, that you remembered everything about your shooting. I didn't give you a chance to explain what I had heard. In my mind, there was no explanation. _

_I flew to Vegas that weekend, met Jacinda on the flight back. I was under the impression that you no longer wanted me to wait on you, that you didn't feel the same way that I did. I was reckless and hurting and I tried to throw away everything that I felt for you. I let my choices and my body language speak all that you needed to know about us. I tried my best to be done, but it was never an option for me. _

_Jacinda was just a fluke, a way to get back at you for what I'd heard. I never wanted anything with her and I never slept with her. I just wanted some type of reaction from you, some proof that I was wrong about the way you felt. You caught on quickly, tried to talk to me about it, but I wasn't willing to let you off the hook yet. I wanted more from you, I wanted your words—the words that mattered. _

_We worked the zombie case soon after that. Throughout the case we seemed to get back a little of what we had before I heard you, but we still hadn't talked about it. At the end of the case you told me that your walls were almost down and that you wanted me to be there when they were. It was the first time since hearing what you told Bobby that I actually believed that you might want more than you were letting on. It was the first time I let myself believe that you might love me or be able to love me one day. _

_And finally we come to the most difficult case we had ever worked. A murder and break-in that seemed like any other at the time, until the evidence began to roll in and the bullet was a match to the rifle that you were shot with. I tried my best to reassure you, but I saw the toll it was taking on you. I reminded you on the second morning of the case that you weren't alone, that I was there for you. You reached for my hand and told me that you knew, but your touch said so much more. I wanted to wrap you in my arms and hold you close, but once again we weren't quite there yet. _

_I tried to help you in any way I could, but then I got the call from Smith and I knew that if I didn't stop you they would kill you. I came to your apartment that night with a mission, but I never expected it to end the way that it did. What started as me begging you not to pursue the case quickly escalated into one of the worst fights we ever had. You were so determined to fight them, to end the battle by waging your own war against them. I couldn't watch you die, so I had to walk away from you. Telling you I was done was one of the hardest things I'd ever done. My heart screamed at me to turn around, to beg you to listen and to stay with me, but I knew that until you understood the reason for my choices, there would be no hope for us. _

_I attended Alexis's graduation with a heavy heart. Heavy for all of the things in my life that were ending. I was so proud of her and all of her accomplishments, but I didn't want to let her go any more than I wanted to let you go. She reminded me that night that I was her solid ground, her north star, and somewhere deep down I prayed that you would eventually feel the same way, and that you would let me be those things to you. She reminded me that I would be with her always, just as you would always be with me—no matter what. _

_You called me that night just as I had decided to delete your file off of my computer. I couldn't imagine adding you to the growing list of deceased people who had worked the case so the best thing for me to do was delete it. Just seconds after I deleted the file you knocked on my door. _

_I really wasn't expecting to find you there when I opened it, but when I pulled the door open to find you soaking wet and trembling I knew that it was going to be now or never. You made the decision for me. When I asked you what you wanted you made sure that I heard you when you said 'you'. And then you backed me further into my loft and your lips were on mine and my whole world tipped on its axis. _

_You whispered apologies against my skin, framed my face with your hands in determination to keep me from pulling away from you. But when your lips touched my again I had to know some answers first. I pushed you away from me, but I felt the thud of your pulse beneath the grip of my hand, felt the way your heart was racing. I thought that I only needed three words from you, but the three words you gave me weren't what I was expecting. They were more. I'll never forget the look on your face, the rapidness of your breath, the tears rolling down your cheeks when you said those words. "I just want you." _

_I hesitated for only a minute because I had to let those words sink in, let them speak all of the things they meant to me. And then I made my decision, because letting you walk away was not an option. _

_I pushed you back, slamming the door shut with your body and I swallowed your gasp. Desperation mixed with emotions and the feelings we'd both been hiding poured out of us and into that kiss. I let my hands roam your body, let the feel of you beneath them remind me that it was really happening. I savored the taste of your mouth, the smell of your cherry shampoo mixed with a hint of vanilla. I briefly left the wet heat of your mouth in favor of trailing my lips down your neck. It was then that I remembered the thing that had started our fourth year together and I needed to see it. I unbuttoned your shirt until the healed scar came into view and you reached for my hand, pressed it against the puckered skin. _

_And I couldn't help but think about how something so terrible also became something beautiful. Your shooting pushed us apart, tested us in ways that I never imagined, and yet we passed every one of them. You survived and you came back stronger, and you fought to become the person that you were in that moment, standing against my front door. In that moment that scar became ours, our victory. I committed every second of that kiss to memory because it was the moment that we went from broken to always._

* * *

><p>This time when he finishes his story the tears are streaming down Kate's cheek, but the smile that stretches across her face is more beautiful than he's ever seen it. He cups her cheek, letting his thumb catch the moisture as it falls.<p>

"That was so beautiful, Castle. You manage to take even the most painful of moments and weave them into something full of hope and love."

He smiles and pulls her into his lap. "I'm glad you liked it. And just think the ending of that year is where our story really began, so the next few chapters will be much easier to find the beautiful moments in. Not that it has ever been hard for me to find a beautiful moment when it comes to you."

There was a time when Kate Beckett would have rolled her eyes at a comment like that. A time when she would have hated the sappiness of moments like this. But Kate Castle is a different story—a different person. She loves her husband and all of his sappy sweetness, and she savors these moments with him.

"So did I earn some brownie points for that one?" he asks.

"Mm, I'd say you earned more than some, but you'll have to wait until our anniversary to find out."

"You play dirty, Mrs. Castle."

"Well, I have to give you a little taste of your own medicine, besides the idea of waiting until that night to unleash all of this sexual frustration is kind of growing on me."

He swallows her laughter with the press of his lips and the joy of who they are continues to grow.

Chapter four, complete.

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><p><em>Would love to hear your thoughts! xo<em>


	6. Battles of Love and Life

**A/N: Just thought I'd post this chapter a little early as a Christmas gift to all of you. Thank you for the amazing support! I look forward to all of your sweet reviews and lovely thoughts on these chapters! Thank you for taking this journey with me. Merry Christmas to each and every one of you and and may your day be blessed and happy! **

**Disclaimer: I do not own Castle or the characters used in this story. I'm just borrowing them for this heartfelt tale.**

* * *

><p><strong>Battles of Love and Life<strong>

_"How many hundreds of thousands of fingers brushing against each other does it take to make love?"_

_-Jonathan Safran Foer_

* * *

><p><em>November 7<em>_th__, 2015_

Kate wakes the next morning feeling lighter than she has in a while. The memory of Castle's story, the way he pulled love from every painful memory of their fourth year together wraps her in a warm embrace. She hasn't decided which chapter is her favorite yet, but she trembles with excitement over the chapters to come.

She's surprised that her phone hasn't rang with the news of a body drop as she pulls on a pair of gray dress pants and dark purple turtleneck to hide the bruises Parks left on her neck. The last thing she needs is another suspect thinking he can get the best of her. Castle meets her near the door with a smile and open arms that are holding her coat out for her to slip in to.

Kate can count on one hand the number of times that Castle has woken up before her since they got together. This morning was one of them. He's exceptionally chipper as he opens the door and follows her out. She lets him out in front of the coffee shop and he tells her to go on to the precinct. He likes the fresh air of the morning, the cold November wind against his face as he carries their hot drinks towards the precinct.

* * *

><p>The elevator dings not long after she's settled in at her desk and Castle strolls towards her with a wide grin on his face.<p>

"What are you so happy about this morning?" she asks as she takes her cup from him and sips the hot, sweet liquid.

"Why wouldn't I be happy? Look at my life."

He grins and plops down in his chair, waving at Ryan and Espo as he does. He thinks he's gotten away with whatever he's hiding, but Kate isn't buying it.

"Are you sure there isn't another reason that you're in such an exceptionally good mood?"

Castle only nods before standing and going over to talk to the boys. Kate crosses her arms and watches him for a few minutes before logging into her computer and checking her email.

He makes sure to keep his back to his wife as he discusses his plans with the boys. He'd come up with the idea about an hour after Kate had fallen asleep while reading. It had been a challenge to creep out of their room without waking her and he'd taken a long shot when he called Gates at such a late hour. Surprisingly the stern Captain of the 12th Precinct had listened to his request and given him a polite answer before hanging up. In fact, his phone call is the reason that Kate's phone hadn't rang early this morning when a body drop had been called in.

He waits patiently, discussing random sports with the boys while he knows that Kate is suspicious. But he doesn't have to wait long because just as he's started planning a poker night with Ryan and Espo, Captain Gates steps out of her office and clears her throat.

"Detective Beckett, may I have a word with you?"

Castle whips around to face Kate but somehow manages to hide his smirk as she throws him a look and stands to follow the Captain into her office. All three men lean forward, straining to watch Kate's reaction as she speaks to Gates.

Castle wrings his hands together nervously as he waits for Kate to emerge from the office, hoping that she likes the idea as much as he wants her to. He holds his breath when she swings the door open and strides back towards her desk with no expression on her face. He thinks she's going to sit, but she bypasses her desk and heads towards the break room, stopping right when she gets to the door to turn and look at him.

"Castle, can I talk to you?" she asks before turning away and walking in to room.

He glances at the boys before standing and following Kate into the break room.

"Shut the door," she requests when he steps into the room.

He does so and then turns to face her once more.

"Kate, I…"

But he doesn't get to finish his sentence because suddenly she's up against him, pushing his back against the door and sealing her lips over his. She devours his mouth, slicks her tongue over his in a fierce battle until she has to take a breath, separating their lips with a loud pop.

"A real honeymoon? I can't believe you managed to pull this off without me knowing about it."

"So, you like the idea?"

"I love it, Castle. You know how much I was looking forward to our honeymoon, well, both honeymoons that we planned. I hated that things kept coming up every time we would try to re-plan one."

He smiles and wraps his arms around her. "I think we deserve a real honeymoon, don't you, Mrs. Castle?"

She mirrors his smile and nods. "Yes, yes we do. But how did you get Gates to agree on such short notice?"

"A magician never reveals his secrets," he says with a wink.

She shakes her head and then pulls him away from the door, opening it so that they can walk back to her desk.

"When do we leave?" she asks as she sits back down in front of her computer.

"Tomorrow morning," he answers.

Another brilliant smile lights up her face and she powers off her computer, reaches for his hand again as they stand. "Well then, I'd say we better get home and start packing."

He lets her pull him towards the elevator, waving bye to the boys as they pass them.

"See you in a week, boys," she throws over her shoulder as they step onto the elevator and the doors slide closed.

* * *

><p>They spend the majority of the day packing and talking about the island get-away that Castle has planned for them. He orders Chinese for them while Kate packs the last of her things and zips her suitcase. She strolls into the kitchen just as the doorbell rings and Castle takes their food from the delivery man, offering him a generous tip before shutting the door.<p>

They eat while watching a Temptation Lane episode that Castle has saved on his DVR and he smiles at the sheer joy that radiates from his wife. When they're finished she takes their trash to the kitchen and then meets Castle in the bathroom for a quick shower before they crawl into bed.

They're both too excited to sleep so Kate rolls towards Castle, rests her head on his chest and clears her throat expectantly.

"I suppose that means you're ready for the next chapter?" he asks between laughs.

"I'm too excited to sleep, but perhaps a bedtime story could help me relax."

He smiles and kisses the top of her head. "I know just the story."

* * *

><p><em>Year five was one of the best years of my life. It all started when I woke up next to you sometime during the night after two rounds of the best sex I'd ever had. I couldn't get enough of you and you must have felt the same way, because before I could wake you with my mouth you were rolling me onto my back, straddling my hips and initiating round three. <em>

_The next time I woke I was alone in the bed, but I knew that even if I had dreamed it all that my life had been changed. You padded into my room barefoot, and wearing only my white shirt, which was held together by only two buttons. You were so radiant, probably more beautiful than I had ever seen you. You looked happy, happy in such a way that I could see the weight that had been lifted from your shoulders. _

_I was nervous to ask you if you wanted the thing between us to be more than one night, terrified that you'd walk away from everything that I wasn't willing to let go of. You reassured me with more than just your answer. I wanted that entire day to be about us. I wanted to press you back into the mattress and paint my love across your skin over and over again. But the world had other plans. _

_As if being interrupted by mother and Alexis wasn't bad enough, we were thrown back into a case that I just wanted to hide you from. Finding Smith, the safe, the file, it all linked together giving me a small hope that we might have the upper hand for once. And then Maddox found the file and although we didn't have to worry about him anymore, we lost our only form of evidence. _

_You left me in your bed that night to fight another battle on your own. I would have been hurt, but you threatened Bracken in a way that I never could have. You bought us time. _

_Pretending that we weren't together at the precinct was exceptionally difficult. Once I had touched you and held you and tasted you, I wanted to do it every second of the day. Agreeing to go on that date with Kristina Coterra was just another part of hiding our relationship from everyone. But when she showed up at my loft and shoved me down on my couch, I wanted nothing more than to be with you. _

_You showed up, saw her on top of me and the jealousy that poured out of you was adorable. You know this now, but I feel the need to repeat that your lips were the only ones I wanted on mine. It took you a few hours, several apologies and half a bottle of mouthwash for you to forgive me after I came to your apartment that night. But the second your lips pressed against mine again, everything but you and I was forgotten. _

_I was so excited to take you away to the Hamptons for the weekend, desperate to have some alone time with you. You were hesitant when we first got there, the newness of our relationship reminding you of our pasts. I wanted nothing more than to prove to you that you were my always, but murder had other plans. We spent almost our entire weekend solving a case that wasn't our own. But the end was more than worth the wait as you climbed over my body and proceeded to wipe all thoughts out of my mind until only you remained. _

_When Tyson framed me for murder my greatest fear wasn't that I might die, it was that you might believe the evidence and give up on me. You never did. When you were putting the cuffs on me you looked so devastated and I knew that somehow we had to make it through. You placed the cuffs carefully onto my wrists and you dropped your head, fighting the emotions, but everything about your body screamed 'I love you'. And even though I knew he wasn't dead when I shot him over the side of the bridge, I hoped that he'd disappear and leave us alone. I wanted nothing more than to forget about him and embrace my life with you. _

_Our fist dinner with our parents was a bit of a disaster. The tensions between my mother and your father created some between us as well. On the run with the witness we were protecting, we continued to fight until we realized that we didn't even know why we were fighting. You said our relationship didn't make sense on paper and I reminded you that it didn't matter. I was serious because you meant more to me than any other woman I could have had. I didn't want the world, Kate. I only wanted you. _

_When I kissed you and walked out of that basement we'd been hiding in, I was terrified that it would be the last time I did. And when the witness we'd been protecting turned out to be the murderer things took a turn that neither of us saw coming. Luckily, I figured it out before he arrived and emptied his clip into the car. You looked so terrified, but the moment you laid eyes on me your entire expression changed. When you ran into my arms you whispered that you thought you'd lost me and I replied with 'never'. I meant it. _

_Our first Christmas together was a bit strained. I was so excited to share all of my traditions with you that I never stopped to think about what Christmas was to you. When you told me about your last Christmas with your mom it broke my heart. I just wanted you to find the magic of the season again. You showed up at my door just as I was on my way to find you. Seems we both had the same thought. I kissed you in front of my tree and that night, wrapped together in my bed, we created new memories and traditions. _

_Probably my biggest mistake that year was letting Meredith stay with us at the loft. I was so happy to have you staying with me and then I ruined it by letting my ex-wife weasel her way in. It wasn't fair to put you in that position and I never meant for you to feel threatened. But when you kissed me after that dinner with her, claiming that you liked me a little bit more, my heart soared. Although you hadn't said the words yet, you poured 'I love you' into that kiss. _

_You were forced to protect Bracken later that year, saving him from the explosion that would have taken his life. You became even more extraordinary to me that day. And when we fell into bed that night, I let you know just how extraordinary you were while erasing the events of the day from your memory with the press of my tongue. _

_I spent weeks searching for those earrings that I got you for our first Valentine's Day. I was so excited to see your face when you opened them. I could have kicked myself when I realized that I'd slipped them into the wrong coat pocket. When we got back to your place that night you gave me a gift that made the disappointment of the day fall away. When you offered me that drawer you offered me so much more. A permanent space in your apartment meant I also held a permanent place in your heart. And once you helped me undo those stupid cufflinks you proceeded to prove just how much of your heart was mine._

_When Alexis was kidnapped you were my rock. I tried to hold it together, but I quickly spiraled out of control. I was harsh with you at times and yet you still stood by me. I opted to leave you here and go on my own to get her back and you forgave me. I'd never been so happy to see you when I brought her back. I held you in my arms that night and whispered apologies in your ear. After the fifth or sixth one you silenced me with the press of your lips. _

_You found my bucket list at the end of the serial killer case. I was convinced that I was cursed from watching the video and only waiting until midnight would lift it. You started reading it and realized that being with you was number one. You turned to look at me with wide eyes filled with love and I wanted nothing more than to kiss you, but I needed to be sure we weren't cursed first. You picked up my glass and reminded me of that amazing trick you do with ice. I counted down the last seconds until midnight and then followed you into the bedroom. The ice wasn't the only thing that melted that night. _

_The birthday gift you gave me that year topped any gift that I've ever been given. You managed to fool me the entire time. I cursed my broken leg and crutches as I hobbled towards you to give you a kiss because I wanted to do so much more than that. We had to be creative that night in the bedroom, but I think I still managed to un-wrap you pretty well. _

_Things got a bit rocky for us after that. You were requested to protect Eric Vaughn and you'd been trying to ask me where we were headed, but we seemed to be tiptoeing around that conversation. I was jealous of him and rightfully so when he tried to kiss you after asking if you and I were serious. I just wanted you to be happy so I vowed to make sure that you were. _

_The worst day of that year happened when you stepped onto a trigger sensor of a bomb. I stayed with you, became your bomb buddy and did everything I could to take your mind off of what was happening. But the moment I had to walk away from you, leave you standing there knowing you were about to be blown up, broke me. You called to me as I turned to walk from the room and for the first time you spoke the words 'I love you' out loud. I fought back tears as I repeated the words to you because there was no way I was going to lose you after everything we'd been through. _

_There was no other choice for me then but to come back to you and figure out the code. I wasn't letting you go. It came down to seconds as I typed in the code and I held my breath, praying that it was right. _

_Your legs trembled as you stepped off the plate and into my arms and I held you like it was the first and last time. We held onto each other desperately that night and fell asleep without an inch of space between us. And since that day we've said the words 'I love you' as if they're the most natural thing. Telling you that I love you is one of my favorite things to do. _

_The end of that year brought one of the worst fights we'd ever had as a couple. Your job offer in D.C. was an amazing thing that you of all people deserved. But you made the choice to go to it without telling me and that made me feel as if I didn't matter to you. When we fought you told me that it was your life and I needed some time after that to think about what those words really meant. You were right, it was your life, but you were my life and I wasn't letting you go unless you told me that you didn't want me anymore. _

_I sat on the swings where we'd met so many times—had so many serious conversations and thought about how much we'd been through. I knew there had to be a reason that we had made it to where we were. I knew my feelings for you were so much more than any I'd ever had for anyone else. I wanted you for the rest of my life and I knew that no one else would ever compare to you. I took a chance on asking you, knowing that there was a big chance you'd turn and run. You were such a fierce lover, but so easily spooked. _

_I was still mad when you sat down beside me, but I knew that at the end of the conversation I was going to ask you that question and be okay with your answer. So I told you what I'd been thinking about and then I got down on one knee and I asked you to marry me._

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><p>He was going to tell the rest of the proposal part with year five, but he can feel Kate's lashes fluttering against his chest. He thinks she might have drifted off before the end, but just as he's about to close his eyes her voice cuts through the silence of the room.<p>

"I'm glad you asked me, Castle."

His grin is hid by the darkness of the bedroom. "If I would have asked you sooner, would you have said yes?" he asks.

She's quiet for a few minutes, but then she hums as if she's thinking about it. "Things work out the way they're supposed to, Babe. But the answer was always, yes."

And then she gives in to the pull of sleep and Castle lets the soft sound of her breathing lull him under with her.

Chapter five, complete.

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><p>Merry Christmas to each and every one of you!<p>

Would love to hear your thoughts! xo


	7. Your Perseverance Made the Difference

**A/N: I hope everyone had a wonderful holiday! I'm going to try to have another chapter up before New Years, but if not I hope you all have a great one! Thank you as always for sticking with me and continuously making me smile! **

**Disclaimer: I do not own Castle. The characters used in this story are not mine.**

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><p><strong>Your Perseverance Made the Difference<strong>

_"I'm not in search of sanctity, sacredness, purity; these things are found after this life, not in this life; but in this life I search to be completely human: to feel, to give, to take, to laugh, to get lost, to be found, to dance, to love and to lust, to be so human." _

_-C. JoyBell C._

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><p><em>November 8<em>_th__, 2015_

Castle whispers 'good morning' in Kate's ear a little before six. She hums but it takes a few seconds for her eyes to flutter open and focus on him. She smiles as he draws her in close, warms her with the heat of his body.

"Good morning," she whispers against the side of his neck where her face is buried.

"Did you sleep well?"

"Mm, yes. You told me the perfect bedtime story, how could I not have?"

His chuckle vibrates through her body and she kind of hates that they have to get ready for their flight because she'd love to roll him over and properly thank him for the story. But there will be plenty of time for that on their honeymoon. She could literally jump up and down with excitement; they're finally going on a real honeymoon.

Castle coaxes her out of the bed with coffee and the rich liquid tastes somehow sweeter this morning, as if it holds more meaning than ever before. In a way it does. They went through so much before they ever made it to the altar and now that they've been married almost a year they have so much to celebrate.

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><p>They manage to leave with enough time to have a quick breakfast at Remy's thanks to having packed their bags the night before. Kate tries her best to get Castle to tell her where they're going, but he only smirks and changes the subject.<p>

He somehow manages to talk her into wearing headphones as they enter the Newark lobby, and she's so damn excited that she momentarily contemplates pausing the song on her iPod and listening as their flight is announced. But Castle loves to surprise her and she won't spoil that for him, after all, she has a surprise for him as well that she managed to slip into her bag without him seeing. Well, more than one surprise actually.

Once they're in the air Kate removes the headphones and leans her head against Castle's shoulder, twines their fingers together and rests them against his leg.

"How long should I expect to be on this plane?" she asks him after they've been in the air for about an hour.

"I'm afraid we're going to be on here for a while, but the wait will be worth it." He lifts his hand to her head and runs his fingers through her silky locks. "You can take a nap if you want."

Her eyes are already starting to flutter closed and she makes a point to snuggle closer to him before drifting off.

* * *

><p>She wakes a few hours later just as their lunch is being served. Her first class burger is almost as good as the one she orders at Remy's, but it may just be because she's suddenly starving. She hums at the taste of her burger, enjoying her lunch almost as much as her breakfast this morning.<p>

When they've finished their burgers and their plates have been taken away, Kate angles her body towards Castle and smiles at him. "Can I have a hint of where you're taking me?" she asks him with a bat of her eyelashes that she knows drives him crazy.

"I tell you what, I'll tell you where we're landing, but you have to wait for the rest."

She huffs half-heartedly, but nods in agreement.

"When we land we'll be in Colombo, Sri Lanka."

Her eyes widen when he reveals where they're going. Of all the places they had discussed going on their honeymoon, Sri Lanka had never come up.

"Have you ever been to this place we're staying at?" she asks him curiously.

"Actually, no. It came up in my Google search of 'romantic island get-a-ways'." He pauses when she smirks at him. "Don't laugh, Kate. I'm fairly certain you're going to love this place. Besides, I called around to see if anyone we knew had been there before, I got several good reports."

He wraps his arm around her shoulders when she smiles at him. "You deserve to be taken somewhere special, Kate."

She leans her head up to kiss his cheek before answering. "We both deserve this, babe. I love you."

"I love you too."

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><p>They spend the rest of the flight chatting about random things which include Castle's newest Nikki Heat ideas. Most of them have Kate smiling, but a few of them earn him a smack to the chest and by the time their plane lands in Colombo, they're both laughing.<p>

They collect their bags and Castle leads Kate from the airport and towards a train station not far from where they are. Her eyes light up when she sees where they're headed and she grips his arm excitedly. "Castle, did you plan a train ride for us?"

"Well, when I started planning the trip I looked up our options for getting to the resort once we landed. We could take another flight and get there in half an hour and I know we just got off a twenty hour flight, but I thought you would enjoy this."

She uses their linked arms to stop him and then leans up to press her lips against his. When she pulls back she's smiling. "I love this so much, all of it. The surprise, the flight, riding on a train, I love it all because I get to do it with you."

They stand there, madly in love and staring at each other until the whistle blows and they have to practically sprint to make it on board in time. They find an empty car near the back of the train and stack their bags in one seat before sitting side by side on the other one. Kate stares out the window as they start to roll along and Castle watches as she takes in everything around them. He loves to watch her like this, observant and carefree.

She watches the scenery for a while before turning to find Castle watching her and she can't stop herself from doing her signature Beckett eye-roll. "How many times have we had the 'staring is creep' conversation, Castle?"

"I thought that was only when we're at the precinct? Is it really that big of a deal for me to watch my wife when she's happy?"

She rolls her eyes again but rewards him with a kiss to the cheek. "I suppose since you're the reason for my happiness, it's only fair that I let you stare."

She's quiet for a few seconds before curiosity gets the best of her again. "How long until we reach our final destination?"

"A little over two hours," he answers.

"Hmm, any ideas on what we could do to pass the time?" she asks, and Castle catches her tone immediately.

"Well, we do have this roomy train cart all to ourselves."

"Mhmm…" She trails her finger down the front of his shirt and lets her hand rest just above the top of his pants.

"I was thinking…" he whispers in her ear. She shivers when his breath coasts across her skin, arousal laced with the husky tone of his voice.

"Yes?"

But just as quickly as he ignited the sexual tension, he extinguishes it. "Now would be the perfect time to tell you the next part of our story."

She can't huff like she wants to, can't cross her arms and pout, because as much as she wants him to ease the ache between her legs and fog up every window, she wants to hear the next part of their story just as much. She focuses on the fact that their anniversary is only two days away, lets that knowledge calm the flames of arousal.

"You okay over there," he asks her with a laugh.

Damn him for knowing exactly how to work her up.

"I'm fine. Tell me the story?" she answers in a normal tone, but Castle sees right through her efforts of ignoring how bad she wants him. He wants her just as bad, but if he lets her see that he knows he'll give in. They can make it two more days and it will be well worth the wait.

"Will telling you the story make up for working you up and not doing anything about it?" he asks.

"Year six was filled with wonderful memories, triumphs and wedding planning, but the end of it was the hardest thing that we've ever been through together. I know you're going to find a way to make something beautiful out of it so, yes."

When she has faith in him like that, how could he not turn it into something beautiful?

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><p><em> The start of our sixth year together was beautiful. I remember waking up next to you the morning after I proposed to you at the park. The sun was shining through the window at just the right angle and it illuminated the diamond on your left hand. I couldn't stop smiling that day. Being engaged to you was the best thing that had ever happened to me. <em>

_ I think we spent every minute that we weren't packing your stuff in bed together. I embraced your decision to take the D.C. job, but it was much harder than I expected it to be. I said goodbye to you at the airport expecting to see you that weekend. But then one week turned into two and suddenly it had been six weeks since we'd seen each other. _

_ That day you called to tell me that you weren't able to fly in for the weekend I knew there was no way I could go another week without seeing you. Before I really thought about what I was doing I was on a plane to D.C. and the next thing I knew I was waiting for you in the darkness of your apartment. You looked so miserable when you came home that night; I hated It because I was just as miserable. I watched you as you started to undress, the crease in your brow deeper than I ever remembered it being. I couldn't stand it anymore; it had been way to long since I had touched you. _

_ Ever the detective, you whipped around with your gun just as I started to step towards you. You tried to be angry at me for coming, but everything about your body screamed 'touch me now'. I asked if you wanted me to leave, you answered me with the press of your body. We only made it as far as the wall of the hallway for round one. By the time we fell onto your bed I'd lost count of what round we were on. We spent the entire night making up for those six long, lonely weeks apart. _

_ I tried not to get involved with your case, but you dropped your picture on the floor and curiosity got the best of me. I just wanted to help you solve the case faster so that we could spend more time together. I never expected to get kidnapped by Bronson and infected by a deadly poison. _

_ You handled everything with so much grace, even when I knew you were just as scared as I was. I couldn't imagine leaving you alone, but I knew that if it came to that you were strong enough to persevere. You were so strong, Kate. _

_ I fought to hold on for you, focused on your hand in mine as we raced to get the antidote. I never would have made it that long without you beside me. Your touch was my saving grace. Even when I lost the fight with consciousness, I could still feel your touch, hear your voice. I held onto that. _

_ I woke to the sound of your voice in the hospital. You looked so relieved and yet so burdened at the same time. You told me that things weren't supposed to be that hard, but I heard your silent whispers, you didn't think you were worth the trouble. You were always worth the trouble, Kate. Nothing worth doing is ever easy. Always remember that. _

_ I have to admit that I was more excited then I should have been when your D.C. team took over the case I was working with the boys. It meant that I got to see you more even if we weren't supposed to discuss the case. I saw the toll that job was taking on you. You wanted to do more and because of that you took a chance and jeopardized your job when you gave me that flash drive. _

_ That night we had a serious talk. The long distance thing just wasn't working. I needed to see you more than once every six weeks. You seemed scared that I was going to walk away from you and I hated that. Walking away from you was no longer an option, Kate. You were my life. I presented you with the key to our new apartment because being with you was more important than anything else at the time. But right before I could drag you to our room to celebrate, McCord showed up at my door. You lost your job for the choice you made, but to this day I still believe things happened the way they were supposed to. _

_ You struggled with not having a job and as much as I wanted you take some time for yourself I understood where you were coming from. All your life you'd been independent, it was hard for you to wake up without something to do. When Gates called me about the hostage situation I knew that you hated being on the outside. I was so thankful that she let you work that case. You always knew how to put on a brave face, but I felt the tension, the worry that seeped from your body. I never would have gone in there if I didn't think I would be coming back to you. I also never expected to get shot. I think that was one of the first times you were truly grateful for the vest I had purchased. I was thankful for it too because despite the pain of the impact, it saved my life. _

_ You got your job at the precinct back at the end of that case and I knew instantly that you were back where you belonged. You thought taking the job in D.C. would allow you to do more, but the truth is you were always doing more, always making a difference. You might not have planned to be a homicide detective from the beginning, but I have no doubt that you ended up right where you were meant to be._

_ Not long after that we met a time traveler named Simon Doyle. During his time with us he informed us that we would have three kids. At the time you thought he was crazy, but based on where we are now, I think we still have a chance at that future. _

_ Dr. Neiman was one of the creepiest people I think we ever met while working a case. I knew that she was involved with Tyson almost immediately. You were a little more skeptical to believe, but I knew that he was never dead when I shot him off that bridge. When all of the files on Tyson came up missing I think you finally started to believe that it could be him. Neiman disappeared not long after that, but she left a present for us. When I put that flash drive into my computer and the song came through the speakers we both froze because it was a message for us. I have a feeling that we haven't seen the last of Tyson or Neiman, but we have each other and we'll be ready for them. _

_ Then I got to see you with a baby for the first time. You were hesitant and unsure at first, but Kate, you're going to make an amazing mother. And when you promised me that you wouldn't let me take care of our baby alone, it didn't matter that we were digging through a dumpster, I wanted to kiss you for all of the happiness you brought to my life. _

_ Probably one of the scariest cases of that year was when Ryan and Espo were trapped in that burning building. You blamed yourself for sending them into it, but you never could have known what was going to happen. All that matters is that they made it through. You helped Jenny while she was in labor and you helped bring her husband back to her. Even then, after six years of knowing you, you still managed to amaze me daily._

_ The media was something that I'd been dealing with for years, but I always tried to keep you out of it. When they started publishing things about me that weren't true you put a stop to it immediately. When Ryan and Espo handed me the paper at the precinct I was prepared to apologize for whoever had given them the information about us. I never expected it to be you. You pulled my arms around you in the middle of the precinct and told me that if they were going to write things about us you wanted it to be the truth. And I don't know how it was possible, but I loved you even more after that. _

_ Our next case brought us into the world of Matilda King. To my surprise she already knew exactly who you were. You'd mention modeling to me before, but I thoroughly enjoyed learning more about that time in your life. During one of your meetings with her she requested that you model a wedding dress for her. While you were still in the dress I called to tell you about the beautiful venue I had found for our wedding, but you turned down the idea. Later that night you came through the door of the loft with the weight of the world on your shoulders and told me that we needed to talk. _

_ You'd had a very real, vulnerable moment of missing your mom. You thought I was going to be mad at you for turning down the venue, but I only ever wanted the best for you, Kate. I would have given anything for your mom to be a part of our wedding. Matilda gave you the dress you'd tried on for her and it brought us another step closer to our wedding. _

_ I never really regretted missing my prom. I tried to live my life without many regrets at all, but I couldn't pass up the opportunity to take your hand and dance with you at the high school prom at the end of one of our cases that year. It was perfect and in that perfect moment we agreed on the song for our first dance at our wedding. I'm so thankful for all of the moments in my life that lead me to you. _

_ The morning that we attempted to pick a font for our wedding invitations started like any other. You were prepared to persuade me into liking the font you wanted when your phone rang. I let you leave thinking that you'd be back in a few hours to continue our day of planning and being together. I had no idea how close I would come to losing you forever. After most of the day had passed without any contact from you I knew something was wrong. When I made it to the precinct my heart sunk. I sat in my chair beside your desk, staring at your empty one and praying for some way to help you. _

_ Vulcan Simmons tortured you in ways that I never want to think about. He did things to you that I would have killed him for had I received the opportunity. You never should have been in that position. When we found you I nearly lost it. You were battered, bruised and barely conscious and I held your limp body against mine for hours. I wanted to take you home, but you had to give your statement first so I sat beside you at the precinct while you recounted exactly what you had been through. It took everything in me not to explode. _

_ When we were finally given a moment alone I made a comment to you that I never should have left you alone. You promised me that I had been with you all along and that you held on to me when you wanted to give up. I'd never been so thankful for your strength and perseverance._

_ After six years of following you around, we finally got to work a case that involved ninjas. The morning we got the case you were dreading going to dinner with your friend Carly, but I reminded you that she didn't have a famous author basing books on her. You asked me to call you at a certain time so that I could rescue you from your dinner, but I failed to do so because I was working a lead on the case. You were mad when you got home that night, but I managed to get you to forgive me. I promised you that we would never be boring and I think I've done a pretty good job of keeping that promise so far. I can't imagine life with you ever being boring, Kate. _

_ We worked your mother's case carefully after that, slowly worked our way towards taking Bracken down. But then the guy we'd been watching was murdered and everything went to hell. Vulcan Simmons was found murdered right after that and I knew that there was no way you could have killed him, but the evidence spoke otherwise. It was the second time that we'd gone on the run together. I left you for only a few minutes in a sketchy hotel room so that I could secure a car for us. Bracken found you and tried to take you out. I'm so glad that you were trained for situations like that. You managed to get away from them, but a head wound caused you to pass out in the hallway. When I found you my heart was racing, I was so worried that I was going to lose you. _

_ You came to in the car and told me to turn around. You knew that there was evidence to bring Bracken down somewhere in your mother's things. We tried our best to find it before we were caught, but we ended up in cuffs in the middle of the precinct waiting for our punishment. You never stopped trying to figure things out, never gave up on showing everyone the truth and with only seconds to spare you found the tape that brought everything to light. _

_ I've never been as proud of you as I was the moment you exited the building with Bracken in handcuffs. You finally did what you'd set out to do the moment you became a cop. Your perseverance made the difference. You turned to me as they took him away and I saw the weight lift off your shoulders. I saw years of sorrow and pain float away, leaving the strong, amazing woman that I loved. I told you that she was proud of you and you told me that you never could have solved it without me. We held on to each other and in that moment you were free. _

_ The days leading up to our wedding we encountered several setbacks. Finding out you had been married before was a shock to both of us, but we figured things out just like we always do. I remember driving to the Hamptons thinking about how everything we'd been through would be worth it the moment I slid that ring onto your finger and kissed you as my wife. I never imagined that I would never make it to you. The last thing we said to each other was 'I love you' and that's pretty much the last thing I remember about that day. I so wanted to see you in your mother's dress, to marry you. I wanted it more than I'd ever wanted anything in my life. _

_ For two months I was away from you. I remember nothing about those months other than I missed you. You may think there's no way I could know that without remembering anything else, but missing someone you love is more than just a memory. It's a feeling. I felt the distance from you even when I had no idea where I was. I missed you so much that I have no doubt it was what kept me going. _

_ I still don't know what happened to me, I still don't know what I did or said while I was missing. But I know what I felt. You. You gave me the strength to survive when I knew nothing else. You persevered and believed in me even when the evidence said otherwise. _

_ Our original wedding day was taken from us. Whoever took me thought that they had won. They thought they broke us, but they didn't, Kate. They only made us stronger. And that's the beauty of it, that even through one of the worst of times; we turned the ashes into something beautiful._

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><p>He pauses when he's finished his last sentence to take in the beauty of his wife. Her eyes are soft, full of emotion and watching him with such reverence.<p>

"I'm going to stop right there because the rest of the story goes with year seven."

She drapes herself across his lap, wraps her arms around his neck and holds on to him for the rest of the train ride. The only words that pass between them are whispers of 'I love you' and promises of forever.

At last the train pulls into the station and Castle lifts her from his lap, but never loses contact with her body. "Are you ready to finally go on a real honeymoon, Mrs. Castle?"

"I've never been more ready." She smiles at her husband as they walk hand in hand towards the start of many new memories.

Chapter six, complete.

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><p><em>Would love to hear your thoughts! xo<em>


	8. Finding Solid Ground

**A/N: As a treat to all of you and a thank you for a wonderful year of support and friendship, here is a little filler chapter. Please note the change in rating! :) Happy New Year and may you all be blessed in 2015. xoxo**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Castle or the characters used in this story. **

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><p><span><strong>Finding Solid Ground<strong>

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><p><em>A little before midnight, November 8<em>_th__, 2015_

Kate gasps when the Amangalla Resort comes into view and she tightens her grip on Castle's arm. It's dark, but the street lights illuminate the beautiful white building that sits directly in the middle of the Galle Fort and the she instantly falls in love with the Seventeenth Century design. The Dutch fort that surrounds the resort is stunning, filled with beautiful architectural pieces that stem from multiple cultures and she can't wait to explore it with Castle in the daylight.

She turns towards him just before they enter the front door of the Amangalla and the grin the splits her face is illuminated by all of the happiness she feels.

"Castle, this place is stunning."

He mirrors her smile with one of his own, reaching out to cup her cheek as he draws her closer. "I thought you would like it."

"Like isn't a strong enough word, I love it."

"Well then, let's go see the rest of it, shall we?" He holds his arm out so that she can loop hers through it and then the doors are held open for them as they enter the lobby of the resort.

If she thought it was beautiful from the outside, Kate's even more in love with the inside of the Amangalla. More seventeenth century designs fill the interior of the lobby and she finds herself letting go of Castle and spinning in a circle so that she can take in the entire room.

High white ceilings lined with marble white fans and stunning chandeliers tie together the loveliness of the great hall or the Zaal as she hears a man behind the desk refer to it. To the left of where they are standing is the dining area. Period chairs and tables are set with white linen and antique silverware that make Kate feel as though they've been transported back to colonial times.

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><p>She's tracing her finger over one of the tables when she feels Castle steps up beside her.<p>

"Care to join me in our room, Milady?"

She hums as she turns to face him, smile still plastered on her face. "Yes, let's go."

He grabs her hand as they walk towards the stairs and leads her up to their room. Fascination once again takes over when he opens the door for her and she steps into the room. Antique paintings of scenery line the walls and her gaze is drawn to one in particular that rests over the bed. A mirror image of the gardens she knows lie just outside the veranda of the resort. It's breathtakingly beautiful in painting form and she can't wait to explore the real thing.

The antique bed draws her attention next, the rich color of the wood standing out against the white crisp linen. Without even touching it she knows that it will be comfortable, which has her grinning again because she plans to put it to good use very soon.

She turns towards Castle and wraps her arms around his neck to draw him to her just as the bathtub catches her eye. It's late and if they want to eat dinner they'll have to order room service in their room anyway, and as much as she loves the dining area of the resort, she suddenly has other plans for their first night there.

"What are you thinking so hard about?" he asks her after a few minutes of silence.

"I was thinking about how wonderfully relaxing that claw foot bathtub looks. Do you think we could order room service for dinner and take a bath together?"

He smiles at the cuteness of his wife before leaning in to kiss her. When he pulls away from her he picks up the phone and rings the front desk to request their dinner be brought to their room.

"I figured you would want to explore as soon as we got here, but I like your idea so much better."

A wicked grin forms on her face and she lifts her shirt over her head and tosses it at him as she slinks passed him towards the bathroom. "Well, it's after midnight and while I plan to do a whole lot of exploring while we're here, more than anything else I want to explore you, preferably all over this room."

She throws him a salacious look over her shoulder as she unhooks her bra and lets it drop to the floor. His pants are immediately tighter and he's extremely close to forgetting why he wanted them to sustain from having sex this entire week.

Oh right, the anticipation. And the explosiveness he knows their reunion will be.

He watches as her pants hit the floor and she makes a show of wiggling her hips and she slips her panties down her long legs.

Damn he wants her.

She disappears from his view as she leans over the tub to start the water, but then she reappears in the doorway and he can't hold back the groan that rips through his body.

"Feel free to join me once our dinner arrives, I promise to make it worth it," she tosses out as she steps back and closes the door, cutting off his view of her very naked body.

* * *

><p>Castle tries to calm himself while he waits for their dinner, but by the time it arrives at the door he's done nothing but think about his gorgeous, naked wife and quite the opposite has happened. He hastily shoves a fifty dollar bill into the hands of the concierge, thanking him and turning away from the door to mask the growing bulge in the front of his pants.<p>

He leaves their plates on the warmer and quickly sheds his clothes before opening the door and slipping into the bathroom. When his eyes fall onto the woman in the tub his mouth drops open and he's suddenly unable to move. Her head is thrown back against the side of the tub, eyes squeezed shut and her breathing is rapid, but that's not the sexiest part. His eyes sweep down her body to the place where her hand is buried between her slightly parted legs.

His blue orbs darken to almost black as arousal washes over him and he finally takes a step towards the tub. Her eyes flutter open at the sound of his steps and a blush creeps over her cheeks as she extends her free hand and beckons him towards her.

He drops to his knees him front of her and she leans forward, pulls her hand from between her legs and drapes her wet arms around his neck. He groans when she plants her moist lips on his and slicks her tongue across his bottom lip begging for entrance. He gives it to her without second thought and their tongues meet in a fierce battle.

She tugs him closer as they kiss, but when the bathtub between them stops his body from meeting hers she pulls away with a huff of a frustration. "Castle, get in the tub," she growls as she shifts forward so that he can slip in behind her. He complies immediately, sliding down so that she can rest her back against the wall of his chest.

He wraps his arms around her waist, but she reaches for his right hand and guides it between her parted legs. His breath hitches when he realizes that the heat he feels radiating from between her legs isn't just from the hot water. "Kate…" he groans against the side of her neck.

"Please Castle," she pleads.

He won't deny her this time, not when she's like this, in his arms and on their honeymoon, but he'll work her up a little before he gives her exactly what she wants. "What do you want, Kate?"

"Touch me, I want you to touch me."

He lets his hand dip further into the gap of her legs and although he's not touching her scorching center yet, she arches her back, pushing closer to his hand. Her body trembles against him and she whimpers.

"Please," she pleads again.

"You want me to touch you just like you were before I came in here, Kate? You want me to push my fingers into your warm, wanting body and get you off?" he husks into her ear, smirking when she shivers against him.

"Yes," she hisses, raising her hips impatiently.

He lets his pointer finger dip into the hot hollow of her center and he groans again at the wetness he encounters. It's so much more than the wetness of the water and he has no doubt that she would be dripping if they weren't submerged below it.

She moans when he drags the same finger up to her clit, circling twice before pressing the soft pad of it against her. She tosses her head back against his chest, bucks her hips slightly and he knows she wants more.

He lets his finger slide back down and presses two into her with ease. She cries out and he starts a steady pumping rhythm into her as his thumb presses against her clit. He can see the blush creeping up her body as she writhes in his arms and she must have already been close before he came in the room.

"How close were you, Kate, before I came in here, how close were you to climaxing?"

She whimpers again and he curls his fingers, presses against her in the way he knows brings her the most pleasure. But when she doesn't answer him he stills his fingers, smirking when she gasps and thrusts her hips forward.

"Castle," she warns, but he's still waiting for her answer.

"How close, Kate?"

She whimpers again, but he knows she loves this almost as much as it frustrates her. "Close," she chokes out. "I was close. Please, Babe."

He rewards her with a fast, deep thrust and she cries out again, back arching as he brings her closer to the edge.

"Have you been thinking about this all week? The way your body would respond when you finally felt my fingers inside you again, the way your velvety walls would clamp around them, desperate for release?"

"Oh god, yes," she chokes out as he picks up his pace, plunging his fingers into her depths and hitting her in all the right spots. She loves his fingers, loves the things they do to her, but she's craving other parts of him even more now, certain parts of him that can reach that spot inside of her that no one else ever has.

Her body trembles, hips bucking and back arching as Castle brings her right to the edge. "Let go, Kate. Let go for me," he whispers against her ear and she cries out again as his words give her the final push she needs.

She tenses in his arms, walls contracting around his fingers as her orgasm washes through her. He eases her through it, keeping his thumb pressed against her clit to prolong her pleasure until she grows too sensitive and pushes his hand away.

She turns in his arms then and connects her lips with his in a searing kiss. "Thank you," she breathes against his lips as he pulls her closer.

"Mm, always."

* * *

><p>They sit like that, foreheads pressed together and lips barely brushing until the water grows cold. "What do you say we go eat some dinner and then crawl into bed?" he asks her as they start to climb out of the tub.<p>

She glances down and his very obvious erection and then looks back up at him. "Don't you want me to return the favor first?" she asks as she takes a step towards him.

He catches her by the hips before she can press herself against him and she frowns. "Castle?"

"I do, Kate, but I can wait. I want to eat dinner with you, fall into bed and tell you the last part of our story. I can wait for the other part."

A confused expression crosses her face and she blinks a few times before focusing on him again, "You already told me a part of our story today," she tells him as she opens the door to the bathroom and starts to walk away from him.

"Hey," he reaches for her again, catching her arm before she can get too far away from him.

"What?" she huffs, allowing him to turn her back towards him, but averting her gaze from his.

"What's wrong?" he asks as he tilts her chin up so that he can look into her eyes.

"Do you still want me like you used to?" she asks him and if she didn't look so damn serious he would laugh at the ridiculousness of her question. He wants her all the time.

"Of course, Kate. I want you all the time. There's never a time that I don't want you and that's never going to change." He waits for her to respond, but she only stares at him as if she isn't sure she believes what he's just said.

"Come here." He draws her into his arms, not giving her a chance to hesitate.

"Why would you think that I don't want you like I used to?" he asks her.

"We used to be all over each other and now you've somehow managed to go almost a week without having sex with me. Maybe after a year of marriage things really do start to get boring."

He pulls away from her so that he can look at her again, but he plants his hands softly on her shoulders. "Kate, nothing about being married to you is boring. Nothing. Do you hear me?"

She nods, but he needs to do a bit more to convince her. He glances at the small clock on the table beside the bed before forming a plan and looking back at her. "It's officially November the 9th which means there's less than twenty-four hours until our anniversary. Can I tell you what the rest of my plans were for tonight?"

She nods again and he feels the somber mood she'd established start to dissipate from the room. "I want to eat dinner with you and then climb onto that ridiculously soft looking bed. Then I want to hold you in my arms and tell you the last part of our story because it is officially not the same day anymore. And then I want to keep holding you in my arms while we get some rest because tomorrow I'm going to take you exploring and then I'm going to bring you back to this room and give you another part of your gift. And after all of that, I'm going to explore you on every surface of this room for the entire twenty-four hours of our anniversary."

Her eyes widen at the last part of his plans and he sees the darkening arousal return. And suddenly they're right back where they started when they first entered the room. They're never, ever going to be boring and the rest of their honeymoon is going to prove that point multiple times.

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><p><em>Would love to hear your thoughts! xo<em>


	9. Finding Solid Ground Pt2

**A/N: Thank you so much for the lovely response to the last chapter! I hope everyone had a wonderful New Year! For those who were concerned about the M rated parts, this chapter does not contain any so you're safe to read it, however the next one will be quite a bit different. I'm sorry to say that there will only be one chapter and an epilogue after this, but all good things must come to an end. Thanks as always for your wonderful support! Happy reading! **

**Disclaimer: I do not own anything Castle related. **

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><p><strong><span>Finding Solid Ground Pt.2<span>**

_"And I sometimes think that a moment of touching is the difference between complete utter despair and the ability to carry on."_

_-Eleanor Cameron_

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><p><em>Two a.m. November 9<em>_th__, 2015_

Despite the light mood that has returned between them, they eat their dinner in silence. Based on everything they've seen inside the Amangalla so far, Castle suspected that the food would be just as spectacular and he isn't disappointed. Slow cooked roast with red potatoes and carrots compliment the colonial theme and make him feel as if he's eating a meal that Grandma would have cooked on a Sunday afternoon.

They finish around the same time and Castle pushes the cart with their plates into the hall. Kate's just stepped out of the bathroom with her toothbrush in hand when he closes the door and he flashes her a smile before grabbing his toothbrush and walking into the bathroom. When he returns she's already turned down the bed and climbed in, and she pats the spot beside her. He joins her in the bed, cupping a hand over his mouth just as a yawn slips out.

"Castle, you're tired. Why don't we sleep and you can tell me the last part of our story tomorrow?"

He scoots down beside her on the sinfully soft sheets and then rolls onto his side so that he can look at her while he speaks. The soft cotton of her t-shirt brushes against his hand and he drifts his fingers over the edge of it. She shivers when his knuckles brush against her hip and he runs his hand over her stomach before pulling her against him.

"This is my favorite part of it, I want to tell you now," he whispers against her temple and she shivers again as his words blaze a heated trail over her skin.

"Why is it your favorite?" she asks him as she trails her pointer finger down the front of his shirt. She knows the answer, but she'll never get tired of hearing it.

"You already know, but I think I've found a new way to tell you."

He feels her smile as she presses her lips against his neck. "Tell me," she whispers and it's both a plea and a command at the same time.

* * *

><p><em>There are several factors that led to me being found and reunited with you, but one stands out amongst the others. You. You never gave up, Kate and that's one of the biggest reasons that we made it to where we are right now. Your determination and your fierce belief in me were the foundation of the solid ground we stand on now. <em>

_You were understandably broken when I first woke up in the hospital, it was written all over your face. You were weary and burdened with the amount of evidence that had stacked up against me and I only saw you waver under the pressure one time. One time you let yourself question whether I was telling you the truth or not and even then I saw your faith in me. _

_My first night home you finally broke down in my arms and even without remembering anything about those two months, my body rejoiced in the feeling of yours. I held you as you cried and then I cried with you. Two months without you, Kate, is more than I could ever stand and as much as I hate that I can't tell you where I was, I'm glad that I can't remember the agony of missing you. _

_After that we promised each other that we would work the case together. Nothing else mattered as long as we were together. I wanted more than anything to erase the haunted look from your eyes, to give you back the day that was stolen from us. I would have married you at any moment, but you wanted to wait until we found our solid ground. I was okay with waiting because I knew we'd find it and I think for the first time in your life, you knew it too. _

_On my third week home we'd made a great deal of progress and things were finally starting to get back to normal, but we still hadn't reconnected. We both wanted it, but were scared to push the other too far. When we finally admitted what we were feeling, it seemed that everything and everyone was determined to keep us apart. But late that night, in the darkness of our bedroom we reconnected in every way possible and I swore that I'd never get enough of the feeling of your skin pressed against mine. _

_We continued to heal and reconnect after that and before long we were almost back to where we had been before that terrible day. Every day I prayed that I would remember something about my kidnapping, anything that would give you the answers you so desperately wanted, but the need to know began to fade away as the need to just be together and overcome continued to grow. _

_And the best day of my life came when I hit my head and was thrust into an alternate reality dream that showed me just what my life would have been like had we never met. It was more like a nightmare, but it confirmed what I had known all along. We're better off together. Prior to hitting my head you told me that you weren't ready for anyone else's perfect day and I started thinking that maybe you would be better off without me. I know that is not true, because despite the flaws we both possess, together we make each other better. We make each other whole. _

_I woke from my dream with a slight headache and a decision that there would be no more waiting. I asked you to marry me again in the middle of the precinct and before I knew it we were on our way to the Hamptons while preparing a spur of the moment wedding. And you know what? It was absolutely everything that I ever wanted. You were remarkably beautiful as you walked towards me with your father and although they weren't out yet, in that moment I know the stars aligned. We recited our written vowels as the sun set on that chilly November evening almost a year ago and finally I received the greatest gift of all, you as my wife. _

_During our first dance, you leaned in close and pressed your lips to my ear and you whispered the words 'It was perfect' to me. I held you closer and smiled because all I ever wanted was the perfect day for you. Turns out we only needed each other to make it perfect. _

_That night I held you in my arms just as I had every night we'd spent together, but it was both the same and completely new. I held you as my wife, I made love to you as my wife, I fell asleep beside my wife and I woke up to you, as my wife. And other than the day Alexis was born, that's the happiest I've ever been in my entire life. Marrying you was and always will be my favorite part of our story, Kate. _

_We attempted a makeshift honeymoon when we went undercover in the wild, Wild West. It was nothing that I ever would have planned for us, but we made the best of it. Although we spent the majority of it working a case, the ending was quite fun. You're always teaching me new things about you, but that night I learned that you could indeed ride a cowboy and keep your hat perfectly in place. _

_Moving forward became something we were mastering quite quickly. Although most of your things were already at the loft, we finally ended the lease on your apartment and moved the rest of your things into our home. I remember you being upset with me because I was insensitive about you moving out. I had so many negative memories of that apartment, so many times that I had to walk out of that door and wonder if it was finally the last straw for us. You listened to my thoughts on it, but then you told me yours. You started over in that apartment, you solved your mother's case there and you realized that you'd fallen in love with me while you lived there. Your reasons for missing it were so much better than my ones for not. All of the good parts of our story will always outweigh the bad. _

_I go too involved in a case after that and my right to shadow you on cases was terminated. I didn't tell you at first because I didn't want to ruin the happiness we'd finally managed to hold on to. You hated it, hated that you were going to be without your partner. I hated it just as much. But just like every other time that something was thrown our way, we overcame it. I acquired my P.I. license online and found myself working the same case as you and the boys. _

_You did a lot of eye rolling during that one and you can argue all you want that it was real, but I think you were just playing the part. You're a very good actress you know, mostly in the bedroom, but I won't go into detail right now. I must have been pretty good as a P.I. because I helped solved the case and earned my way back into the precinct before you even had time to miss me. Don't roll your eyes, I missed you too. _

_We worked a lot of interesting cases this year and I received plenty of inspiration for Nikki Heat's newest adventures. But probably one of the most exciting parts for you and I was finally getting the privacy we've both began to crave more and more. I like to think that finding Alexis that lovely apartment not far from us almost at the same time that my mother decided to move into the apartment above her acting studio was life's way of apologizing to us for all the hell it has put us through. I think we've both accepted the apology quite well. They're still close enough to visit us often and in the mean time I get to thoroughly enjoy my wife whenever and wherever I want. _

_For Valentine's Day you finally got a chance to wear that lovely black leather corset I bought you. It was ridiculously hot even if it only stayed on for a few minutes. _

_Each year for my birthday I expect you to come up with something insane that will top the first birthday gift you ever gave me. You haven't pulled any more stunts like that one, but I have no complaints about my gifts, especially when I can use both of my legs while thanking you for it afterwards. _

_This summer we added your touch to the Hamptons house and I have to say that I love it more than I ever have. I think we laughed more that week than ever, but mostly because we spent the majority of it covered in paint. We still have to avoid eye contact when someone who's visiting us there comments on our newest piece of art. _

_All in all our first year of marriage has been everything I could have ever wanted. You've brought me more happiness then I ever imagined one person could have. You're still the joy in my heart and I'm so thankful that I get to continue solving the mystery of you every day for the rest of my life._

* * *

><p>Castle hauls her closer to him as soon as he finishes the story because this year is still his favorite and he can't wait to start another new one with her. Kate must feel the same way because her lips are on his as soon as she's pressed against him. He slicks his tongue into her mouth, paints his love for her over every inch of her warm, wet lips.<p>

He doesn't know how long they lay tangled together making out like teenagers, but there's definitely some daylight shining through the window of their room when they finally drift off to sleep in the solid ground of each other's arms.

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><p><em>Would love to hear your thoughts! xo<em>


	10. More Than I Could Have Asked For

**A/N: Although the next chapter is the epilogue it will pick up right where this one leaves off. The majority of the epilogue will also be M rated. This and the epilogue together make my two favorite chapters of this story so I hope you enjoy reading them as much as I enjoyed writing them. **

**Those of you who follow me on twitter know that life is throwing me some hard balls lately and I want you to know how much I appreciate all of the support, kind words, and prayers! Thank you all so much! **

**Happy reading!**

**Disclaimer: I claim no ownership of Castle or the characters used in this story.**

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><p><span><strong>More Than I Could Have Asked For<strong>

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><p><em>Just before noon, November 9<em>_th__, 2015_

"Castle…"

The soft melody of Kate's voice drifts through the room, slowly lulling him to consciousness. He hums at the same time his hands reach out for her, but he's met with empty, cold sheets. He cracks an eye open in search of her but squeezes it closed again when sunlight floods his retina.

He rolls his body away from the bright light and blinks both eyes open this time, smiling when Kate comes in to focus. He's about to coax her back into the bed with him so that he can pay some more attention to her luscious lips—as if he didn't give them enough attention last night—when he notices that she's fully dressed and ready for the day.

She's a true image of beauty, dressed in his favorite skinny jeans—even though he hates peeling her out of them—and a plum colored tunic, complete with the flats that he adores on her because of the perfect height difference it allows them.

Kate offers him a bright smile as he pushes himself into a sitting position and then she disappears for a moment only to return with a large cup of coffee and a sweet smelling pastry that instantly makes his mouth water.

"I haven't been up that long, if that's what you're wondering." She sits on the edge of the bed, nudging his hip with her knee. "Breakfast was already over when I went downstairs, but I managed to sweet talk the hostess into bringing these out to me along with a large thermos of coffee."

He stares at her with a goofy grin on his face, blue eyes brightening with the depths of his love for her. "I love it when you use sweet talk to get your way, only I like it more when you use it on me."

"Oh Castle," she singsongs as she rises off the bed and walks over to the large picture window that overlooks the veranda, "I won't need to sweet talk you to get my way by the time tonight rolls around."

He won't argue—can't argue with that because she's exactly right. There will be no amount of persuasion needed to get what she wants tonight. Her. He wants her and he has a feeling that she's referring to the same thing that he's thinking.

"He finishes his pastry and coffee while he watches her. She's a vial of pent up energy, eyes bright and roaming every inch of their surroundings, ready to explore the beauty of the Galle Fort and he can't stand to keep her waiting any longer. He dresses quickly and brushes his teeth before returning to find her in the same spot she was before. He wraps his arms around her waist, kissing her cheek when she inclines her head towards him.

"Ready to go explore, Mrs. Castle?"

"Do you even have to ask?" she smirks, turning in his arms to plant a soft kiss on his lips. He keeps her there for only a moment before reaching for her hand and pulling her towards the door, and by the time they get to the front door and spill out onto the street, she's the one pulling him.

* * *

><p>She's like a child visiting Disneyland for the first time as she pulls him along, excitement rolling off of her in waves. "Castle, this place is so beautiful. I could spend years here looking at all of it."<p>

He tightens his grip on her hand in response, continues to follow her through the streets of Galle. She's fascinated by the architecture, the languages of the native people and the history of the Dutch Fort.

Each place she stops them at offers a new piece of history, a piece of the puzzle that eventually forms a larger, detailed picture. By the time they make it to the gardens on the back side of the Amangalla, they're filled with in depth knowledge of the Fort and how it came to be. Both Kate and Castle's arms are filled with souvenirs of their trip, little pieces of Galle to take back home with them. The majority of the bags are filled with little things that will only have meaning to them, trinkets that made her eyes light up as they passed by so much so that Castle would add it to their selection of things.

They'll take the things to the Hamptons; fill their newly remodeled house with memories of their honeymoon.

Castle briefly leaves Kate in the middle of the garden, tenderly trailing her fingers over each brightly colored plant, so that he can deposit their bags in their room. It's nearly dinner time now and the sweet smelling aroma of dinner floods his senses the moment he enters the lobby of the resort. He pauses a moment to talk to the hostess, uses is charm to talk her into setting a special table for them and then continues on his way to their room.

He sets the bags gently on the floor and steps into the bathroom to quickly freshen up so that he can go down and coax Kate into the dining area. He spots her through the large picture window as he's about to step out of the room. She's an image of beauty and grace, wandering through the lush garden as if it's her favorite place on earth. She's breathtaking and he can't stand another moment away from her.

* * *

><p>He manages to sneak up on her when he steps into the garden. Her body is bent forward, towering over a bright pink flower that looks like a mixture between a rose and some other flower that he can't recall the name of. How could anyone manage to think of anything else with her standing in front of them like that?<p>

He catches her hand in his own, spins her around and into the front of his body and presses her in close. She startles for only a second before she comes willingly and drapes her arms around his neck.

"It's not nice to sneak up on your wife, Mr. Castle." She's scolding him, but everything about her tone says otherwise.

"I couldn't help it. You were so beautiful standing out here and I needed you in my arms," he answers with a smirk and a soft kiss to her cheek.

"You can have me in your arms any time you want, you know that right?" she questions with a smile on her face and a raised eyebrow that makes her look adorable and sexy at the same time.

"Oh I do know, and I'll prove that to you tonight." He holds her there in the warm embrace of his arms until he sees the hostess step out and indicate that their table is ready.

He takes a step back from Kate before reaching for her hand and tugging her towards the front door of the resort with an excited grin plastered on his face.

"Where are we going?" she asks as he hurries them through the garden.

"You'll see," he answers as he throws her a wink over his shoulder.

When they get inside the resort he leads her over to the hostess stand. The delicious aroma of food hits her instantly and her stomach growls, letting her know just how hungry she is. They follow the hostess through the dining room passing many empty tables and she's about to protest when she sees where they're headed and her breath catches in her throat.

Nestled directly in the center of the veranda is a small table lit by candlelight and set for two. Twinkling lights wrap around the railing and complete the romantic setting perfectly. It's private, intimate, and beautiful and she has no words for the amount of love she has for her husband.

She lets him lead her towards the table, nodding at the hostess when she winks at them and slips away to give the happy couple some privacy. Castle pulls out her chair but before she sinks down into it she turns and wraps her arms around him, hugging him tightly.

"I love this and I love you, so much. We went through so much to get to where we are now, Castle, but this moment with you makes it all worth it," she whispers and he tightens his arms around her.

"I love you, too. You're worth it, Kate. All of it." He kisses her cheek once she's seated, but instead of sitting across from her he slides his chair around so that he's right beside her. He wraps his hand around her knee and keeps it there.

Dinner is everything Castle wanted it to be and more than Kate could have ever asked for. Tender filet-mignon marinated in a tangy bourbon sauce and topped with caramelized onions, grilled vegetables and a baked potato. They pair it with a sweet vintage red and ask for an extra bottle to take up to the room with them.

They remain on the veranda for a while after their meal has been cleared away, arms wrapped around each other. The warm evening air drifts across their skin, leaving goose-bumps in its wake despite the warm temperature. They watch the sun set, content in each other's arms.

Castle's eyes are closed when he feels Kate turn in his arms and he hums when her lips press against the side of his neck. She trails a blazing path up to his jaw, stopping when she gets to his lips so that she can properly thank him for the amazing dinner he arranged for them.

When she pulls away she's grinning and Castle shivers in anticipation because he knows that look. But just to indulge her, he decides to ask her about it.

"What's that look for?"

"Well, I was just thinking about tomorrow and how uh, 'busy' we're going to be."

"Mhmm," he hums against her cheek.

"I want to give you one of your gifts tonight. I mean you gave me mine early so it's only fair that I do the same right?"

She's got this sparkle of excitement as she speaks about his gift, but there's an underlying hint of something else in her tone and he can't quite place it. He knows that whatever it is she's about to give him is special to her. She takes great care in picking out gifts especially when it comes to him.

* * *

><p>They walk hand in hand up to their room, oblivious to anyone around them. The moment they step through the door the rest of the world falls away and all that matters is the two of them and the life they have together. She leads him over to the large couch in the corner of the room and gently pushes him down. His hands slide to the backs of her thighs and pull her in between his legs and she lets him keep her there momentarily. She brings her hands to his head, slides her fingers through his hair and smiles when he kisses her stomach.<p>

He tightens his hands when she starts to pull away, but she slides her hands down his face, gentles him with the soft press of her lips to the crown of his head. "Let me get your gift. I'll be right back."

She slinks away from him and goes to her bag and after a few moments of searching pulls a small black book out. She seems cautious when she comes back to sit beside him on the couch and she holds the book tightly in her hands. Castle waits patiently until she's ready.

She takes a deep breath and angles her body towards him, but she keeps a firm grip on the book. "I know you are aware that I started seeing Dr. Burke again while you were missing."

He nods and lets her continue.

"After my first visit—once we knew that getting you back was going to be more difficult than we thought, he made a suggestion."

She looks down at the book and then back up at him. Memories swirl in the hazel orbs of her eyes and Castle moves his hand to her knee, offers her a reassuring squeeze that propels her forward.

"He gave me this at the end of my second session. I thought he was going to ask me to write to you about what I was feeling while you were missing. There was just no way that I could've done that. It was all I could do to live with those feelings." She pauses and runs her hand over the front of the book, before placing it in his lap.

"He knew me better than I thought. He asked me to sit down each day and write about something that I was excited to do with you in the future. Anything. And so that's what I did. For every day that you were gone I wrote something in there about our future. Some days were harder than others. Sometimes the last thing I wanted to think about was the future, especially when I wasn't sure that I was going to get one with you."

He tightens his grip on her knee and she covers his hand with her own, offering him an emotional smile before continuing.

"I originally planned to give it to you right after you came home, but the time never seemed right. The night we talked about future plans I decided to wait and give it to you on our first wedding anniversary because that was the first time since our original wedding day that I believed we would get our happy ending."

He lifts his hand to her face and cups her cheek and she leans into his touch.

"I know it's not an extravagant gift, but I know how much you love words and after all the words you've given me, I figured it was about time I gave you some of my own."

She smiles shyly, but when she tries to dip her head he uses the hand still on her cheek to lift her face. "This gift is so much more than I could have ever asked for, Kate. I love it so much. Thank you for finding hope each day that I was apart from you."

"Thank you for coming back to me," she answers and he lays the book beside him so that he can pull her into his lap.

"As long as I was alive there was no way that I wasn't coming home to you, Kate."

"I love you," he whispers before he slides his lips over hers and swallows her answer with the hot press of his tongue. She moans her approval as she slides her legs over his hips and pushes herself closer to him. He blindly reaches for the book she just gave him and carefully sets it on the table beside the couch. She rocks more insistently against him and he grips her hips and hauls her closer.

He pulls away from her lips only long enough to lower her to the couch and then he slides over her waiting body and reaches for the hem of her shirt.

"You know it's not technically our anniversary yet?" she tosses the words at him with a wink, but gasps when his hands slide further up her body, exposing her heated flesh as he pulls her shirt over her head and throws it to the side.

"It will be by the time we reach the bed," he growls seconds before his lips cover hers again.

His kisses are bruising as he assaults her mouth, a week's worth of sexual energy igniting the flame and burning through them. She gives back just as much as she takes and when his hands slide to the waistband of her pants she's ready to sob with relief.

He unbuttons her jeans with practiced ease, but it takes a joint effort from both of them to slide them down her legs. She can't suppress her giggle at his huff of frustration when he finally drops the jeans into a heap on the floor. "I have no idea how you even get those on."

She laughs again as she tugs on his shirt and pulls it over his head. His pants and boxers come off with one swift flick of her wrists and she grins up at him when he looks at her in surprise.

"Been waiting all week for this, Babe."

He manages to release the clasp of her bra with one hand while his other hooks the edge of her lacy black panties and begins to slide them down her legs. She helps him push them off and when he finally settles between her legs they both breathe a happy sigh.

Kate pulls him back to her lips at the same time that her legs wrap around his waist and he grunts into her mouth when the tip of his erection brushes against her soaked folds. There won't be any need for buildup during round one. In fact, Kate's pretty sure that she's going to come as soon as he presses into her so she decides she better tell him the second part of his gift.

"Castle," she hisses out when he nips at the pulse point on her neck before soothing it with his tongue. He doesn't lift his head so she grips his hair in her hands and gently pulls him away from her neck.

"What's wrong?" he asks as he studies her face.

"Nothing is wrong, Babe, but I need you to listen for a sec, okay?"

He nods and waits for whatever she's about to say.

"I have to give you the second part of your gift now."

"But Kate, it's not…"

She presses her finger to his lips and smiles at him. "Just listen. I've been doing a lot of thinking about our future and after everything that we've been through; I don't want to wait any longer. I want to start a family with you."

He stares at her for a moment, but she knows the moment that he understands what she's saying.

"Kate, you want…"

She laughs at his inability to form complete sentences which usually only happens when they're like this, naked and pressed against each other.

"I want to make a baby with you."

And after a statement like that, he doesn't need any more words from her.

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><p><em>Yay for 30k words!<em>

_Sadly, only the epilogue follows. _

_Would love to hear your thoughts! xo_


	11. Ad Infinitum

**A/N: And here it is, the final chapter. Thank you for taking this amazing journey with me. Your support has been such an inspiration! I hope this little story made the winter hiatus a little more bearable! I seriously can't say thank you enough to each and every one of you!**

*****Please read the note at the bottom for a little surprise. :)*****

**Disclaimer: I do not own Castle or the wonderful characters used in this story. **

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><p><span><strong>Ad Infinitum<strong>

_**Ad infinitum**__**: **__without an end; to infinity; without limit_

"_The sweetness of a kiss is not in two lips touching each other,_

_It's in the feelings that bring and keep them together."_

_-M.F. Moonzajer _

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><p><em>12 a.m. November 10<em>_th__, 2015_

Castle uses the last bit of willpower he has left to pull his lips away from the stunning woman beneath him. She whimpers in protest, but the alarm on his phone reminds him why he pulled away in the first place. He reaches for the device and turns off the alarm before dropping it on the floor beside them.

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><p>Round one had been fast and frantic on the couch; both of them already so close to the edge that it only took the slow slide of him into her and the delicious slide out to send her over the edge, pulsing, tight walls ensuring that she took him with her.<p>

She initiated round two as soon as they both caught their breath, but when she'd attempted to reverse their positions they'd ended up toppling off the couch and onto the floor. The laughter had bubbled out of them until she'd felt the insistent press of him against her thigh and the flame ignited all over again. Neither of them bothered to move from the floor as Kate rose up over him and began round two.

She had slumped against his chest after he coaxed a second orgasm from her. He'd only given her a few minutes to catch her breath before he gently rolled her off his chest and kissed his way down her body. And that's how he finds himself, lips pressed against the outside of her thigh, when his alarm alerts him to the time.

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><p>"Castle…" she groans when he doesn't return his lips to her skin. Two rounds were not nearly enough for her and she wants him almost more now than she did during round one.<p>

Her eyes are squeezed shut, body relaxed beneath her husband, but when he still doesn't respond to her breathy protest she cracks them open only to find him watching her with a huge smile on his face.

"Castle, what are you…"

He cuts her off with the press of his lips, scorching, sweaty skin sliding against her own until she whimpers into his mouth and insistently rocks her hips against him. He trails kisses from her mouth to the soft, tender skin below her ear and she shivers when his breath coasts across her skin.

"It's after midnight," he whispers, pausing to nip at the skin there before soothing it with the tip of his tongue. "Happy first anniversary, Mrs. Castle."

She uses her right hand to pull him away from her neck, claiming his lips again as soon as he lifts his head. She slicks her tongue over his, and paints words of love into the hot cavern of his mouth until he moans and has to pull away to catch his breath.

"Happy first anniversary, Castle. I'm so glad we made it here." She smiles as she traces her left hand down his cheek, letting the cool metal of her rings press against his heated skin in a reminder that they really did make it to their happy ending.

"There's no place I'd rather be, Kate." He kisses her again before sliding his hands down the long expanse of her body and before she knows what's happening, Castle has lifted her into his arms and placed her gently on the bed.

She grins at him as she pulls him down with her and her left leg hooks around his hip. "Decided it was time to use the bed, huh?" she asks, and he groans at the tone of her voice.

"I did promise to enjoy you on every surface of this room didn't I?" He teases as he kisses his way back down her body, re-positioning himself in the same place he was before the alarm interrupted them.

"Mmm, yes, but you also said you wanted to wait until our anniversary and we didn't quite make it that long," she teases back.

"Are you complaining?" he quips as he slides his hand down her stomach, lower and lower until he can spread her open for him. She's twice as wet now as she was during round one, but her thighs are coated in a mixture of their previous activities and damn if it's not the hottest thing he's ever seen.

He slowly leans in and runs his tongue over her swollen folds, eliciting a moan from her and a quick jerk of her hips.

"Not complaining," she grits out between clenched teeth. "Please, Castle…"

He loves quiet, tender Kate, but he loves needy, begging Kate even more.

The breathy whine of her voice sends shivers through him and he knows that he won't be able to tease her for long; the need to be inside her again is already too much.

He traces his tongue over her swollen, throbbing bundle of nerves and sucks it into his mouth at the same time he slides two fingers into her. She clenches around them immediately, a string of curses falling from her mouth as he curls them inside her and stimulates her G-spot with just the right amount of pressure. She cries out as her body writhes and thrashes beneath him, but just as she's about to fall over the edge he pulls his fingers out and pulls his mouth away from her sensitive bundle of nerves.

"Castle…" she growls in frustration, but it quickly turns into a moan when he slides into her and begins to thrust before she even catches her breath. He immediately sets up a punishing rhythm, pounding into her as if it's the first and last time he'll ever get to be with her. She meets each thrust with the roll of her hips and wraps her legs high around his waist the change the angle.

She cries out seconds before she feels his release and he lets his body cover her own as they bask in post-coital bliss. She holds him against her, unwilling to let go of him or their intimate connection.

"Kate, I'm too heavy to lay on you like this."

"No. Stay like this, please?"

He stays like that for as long as she wants.

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><p>True to his word, Castle spends the majority of their anniversary enjoying his wife on the various surfaces of the room. He loves every moment of the day, every moment with her, but his favorite moments come in-between the love-making, when she's sated and happy and draped across his body with a smile on her face. Those are the moments he lives for.<p>

He makes a decision before the final day of their honeymoon, but he doesn't share it with her right away. They'll make it a tradition, coming to Galle and celebrating their anniversary. And each year he'll weave her a beautiful tale of the previous year, remind her of all the things that he loves about their relationship. He'll never tell her, because he loves every moment he spends with her, but his favorite one to tell will always be the year they were blessed with a son. Their story is a great one, full of hardships and happiness, but most of all, filled with love. And to think, it all started with only a handful of words.

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><p>"<em>The hands of those I meet are dumbly eloquent to me. The touch of some hands is an impertinence. I have met people so empty of joy, that when I clasped their frosty finger-tips, it seemed as if I were shaking hands with a northeast storm. Others there are whose hands have sunbeams in them, so that their grasp warms my heart."<em>

_-Helen Keller_

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><p><em>Thanks to another bout of inspiration, I've decided to do a companion piece to this that will follow Castle reading Kate's journal of her hopes for their future. Stay tuned for this story which will be coming soon! <em>

_Thank you, thank you, thank you!_

_I would love to hear your thoughts! xo_


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